A problem maybe you guys could help with

M

Methodman

New member
Well you guys are usually good with giving me advice so...

I already posted pics and asked what you guys thought about loose skin but,
I have a concern.

I know that my problem areas are chest and abdomen and with working out over the past year it has helped a lot, but lets face it, it is still far from normal especially when I bend over its pretty bad.

When I have a shirt on standing up right it looks normal, and recently (being I'm 17) I've gained back some of my lost self-esteem from being overweight and been talking to girls again.

I can tell to when I walk by many of them double take and we lock eyes for a few seconds (even get a wink once in a while).

My problem is I'm too afraid to pursue any relationships I worry that if I do and ever have to take my shirt off in front of them, they would instantly lose interest.

I know what most of you are thinking you say well if a person is like that than they probably just liked you for your looks or are shallow, but I can honestly say that I could see where they were coming from.

I just know at this restaurant I go to often theres this girl that I've wanted to talk to for a while, and whenever I go she always looks at me until I look at her than looks away. She seems to also go out of her way if she isn't waiting tables near mine to come to mine.

I'm not sure I just know recently I've been feeling really depressed about the whole loose skin situation, really considering surgery after football, but I don't want to cost my family money if its purely for looks.

I guess I would just like to know what are your guys two cents about this whole situation?

(Sorry about the wall of words I really just felt like telling what I feel to somebody rather than my parents who just tell me that life isn't fair)
 
Hi Methodman!

You seem really sweet.. I would date you... but then im OLD so I dont count :drool5: I think if the girl is worth knowing she will understand about your skin, and the struggle you have gone through to loose your weight. If she judges you based on that... she should come to the conclusion your worth keeping because you stuck to it and accomplished your goal!!! If any girl dumped you because of it... shes vain and probably high maintenance, would end up costing you a load of money anyway! HEHE!

My opinion on surgery is this... your still growing. I believe men stop around 21yrs, I would discourage my own son from doing any non-critical surgery until that point, then you can re-evaluate how you feel and if you still are unhappy with it, I would save up and go to a REALLY good surgeon.

In the meantime.... it sounds like this one girl is interested and is probably trying to get you to ask her out.... but you will never know if you dont try.

Passing up the opportunity can leave you with regret.... which can be even more depressing then rejection! Its worth the chance to find out :D
 
P.S.
I went and looked at your pics... your ADORABLE!

Oh and p.s.s. Im Ack, and Im also from VA whooot go VA! But I live in England now.
 
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I just know at this restaurant I go to often theres this girl that I've wanted to talk to for a while, and whenever I go she always looks at me until I look at her than looks away. She seems to also go out of her way if she isn't waiting tables near mine to come to mine.
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that's actually code for -hey I think you're cute but shy - please ask me out.

and while i'm probably the same age as your parents -i'm so NOT a parent (unless someone says they want to take drugs to lose weight then I'mma gonna get all parental on their behind) I have to tell you - what you're feeling -is NORMAL... Betcha 90 percent or more folks out there - feel te same way you do about taking off their shirt.

And if you are with a young lady.. and the opportunity arises that your shirt will be off... Chances are -her shirt might just be off too... and she'll be thinkng - damn he's hot.. do I look fat?
 
I have also checked out your photos - and you have made a brilliant transformation. You are really good looking - and it is not surprising that some girls are showing an interest.

The fact is that at your age - the chances are that your loose skin situation will improve as the next few years go by.

Ask yourself this - if you built up a rapport with a girl and you found each other physically mutually attractive - would it matter to you if she had a little loose skin at the end of the day? I am pretty sure that it wouldnt matter at all - you would just think that you know how hard she must have worked to deal with a weight problem.

Mal is right - people just worry about how their own appearance and performance will be viewed.

Remember - women who have never been big are reputed to go around saying things like "does my bum look big in this?". Many of us are full of insecurities. Dont let yours hold you back from enjoying life to its full.
 
Well after reading your responses you guys have convinced me that next time I go to this restaurant (which we are generally there once a week) I will deffinitely have to talk to her.

I mean I consider it this way...whats the worse that happens she wants nothing to do with me than I just move on :p
 
My little brother is 17 and here's what I tell him (although it sounds like you may not need any more encouragement...)

You can either do or not do. If you do talk to her, one of two things will happen. Either something will come of it or nothing will come of it.

If you don't talk to her, you only have one outcome. Nothing will come of it.

The only option you have here... that could possibly benefit you... is to do.

Don't spend too much time over-thinking and just do. Good luck! :)
 
Methodman said:
Well after reading your responses you guys have convinced me that next time I go to this restaurant (which we are generally there once a week) I will deffinitely have to talk to her.

I mean I consider it this way...whats the worse that happens she wants nothing to do with me than I just move on :p
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Good decision!

Good luck at the restaurant.
 
Methodman said:
Well after reading your responses you guys have convinced me that next time I go to this restaurant (which we are generally there once a week) I will deffinitely have to talk to her.

I mean I consider it this way...whats the worse that happens she wants nothing to do with me than I just move on :p
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YAY!!!

Pssst - not to add any pressure on you but when you do talk to her -check your teeth for spinach, your nose for visible boogers,and your shirt for visible stains.. And charm her.. :D
 
Methodman, I seem to be in the same boat as you. I am 17 and I was 295 pounds 2 years ago and now im about 190, but the loose skin and the random insecurities hold me back. I still try to avoid swimming for that exact reason and I guess I put myself down. I think its also my turn to follow some of the advice offered up here.
 
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