We have a sweet little dog and sometimes when I come home I know immediately that she has done something wrong because her tail is so far between her legs it tickles her chin! So that's how I feel right now if I had a tail it would be tucked all the way in. I feel so ashamed - almost exactly a year ago I just dropped off here. I can't really say why exactly, I felt shame and I felt I wasn't good enough because you guys were all doing it and I couldn't get my act together.
I feel like I owe you all an apology I got so much support here and I just disappeared! I have spent most of the morning catching up on what's going on with you guys and I have to say I am WELL IMPRESSED with you all! WOW there are some major hotties out there - yes you know who you are!
This was exactly what I needed to spur me back into things a big dose of inspiration thanks guys! So I hope not to disappoint (mainly myself) again.
This is all about a fresh start but I suppose I should record in short a bit about the last year and how I find my self back at square one yet again.
It has been a year of ups and downs. Weight wise ironically I am almost exactly back to where I started - I don't even need to take a new pic! right now I weight 105kg and check out this photo from last year:
I had some good months and some bad months - at one stage I even got as low as 100.5 kg but never made past the 100kg mark.
In our big plan we were supposed to start trying to have a baby this summer but seeing my self weigh in again at 108.5kg I realized that it was just not the most responsible thing to do. I have to loose weight before I get pregnant I want so badly to be in a good place physically and mentally before we made that next big step in our lives and I feel like this is my last chance to do it properly.
This last year at work has been SUPER crazy and some days I was working 12 and 14 hours which lead to 0 exercise and BAD eating habits. My bosses just kept heaping more work and more responsibility on me and I kept saying that I was over worked and that I needed help. Eventually it all came to a head in May when I was planning for a big exhibition and I realized that I just had to put a stop to it. My husband and I had a big talk about how we want to have a baby and about how not only have I not lost the weight I had planned to I was even heavier. I realized that I had to make some major changes and gave my 1 month notice beginning the day we got back from the exhibition. The whole week we were abroad all of the bosses and the CEO tried everything to convince me to stay all of a sudden they were willing to bring in more help etc. I realized though that a leopard doesn't change his spots - at least not that quickly, and even thought it was all very flattering I decided that I need to stick to my decision and focus on the things that are most important to me.
So I quit, I helped them find a replacement, we moved apartments back to be closer to the big city and the plan is now that I work freelance from home and mainly focus on getting healthy and loosing weight.
I started together with a friend a few weeks ago, she just had a baby and is desperate to loose the pregnancy weight. So we weigh in every Sunday morning and generally support each other - so far so good. I am down 3.5kg and just trying to push forward.
One of the VERY positive things about the last year is that I started Bikram yoga. It's basically yoga in a room heated to 40 degrees - SWELTERING HOT!! It is amazing though and I think that once I get into a regular routine it will really help with the weight loss. They say you can burn between 1000 - 1500 cals in a 1.5 hour session.
So I went yesterday and I plan to go today and everyday this week.
My goals for this month are as follows:
To go to yoga EVERY day
To get as close as possible to 100kgs - preferably below but for the sake of keeping it real lets say this month's goal is 100kgs
To sign in here EVERY day and write down HONESTLY my food and excessive logs
To not give up when it gets hard
If you have made it all the way to the end of this long and babbling post then I take my hat off to you and thank you for your kind attention!! I'll be back at the end of the day with my logs. Sending out lots of love and positive energy
xxxx
Silash
I feel like I owe you all an apology I got so much support here and I just disappeared! I have spent most of the morning catching up on what's going on with you guys and I have to say I am WELL IMPRESSED with you all! WOW there are some major hotties out there - yes you know who you are!
This was exactly what I needed to spur me back into things a big dose of inspiration thanks guys! So I hope not to disappoint (mainly myself) again.
This is all about a fresh start but I suppose I should record in short a bit about the last year and how I find my self back at square one yet again.
It has been a year of ups and downs. Weight wise ironically I am almost exactly back to where I started - I don't even need to take a new pic! right now I weight 105kg and check out this photo from last year:
I had some good months and some bad months - at one stage I even got as low as 100.5 kg but never made past the 100kg mark.
In our big plan we were supposed to start trying to have a baby this summer but seeing my self weigh in again at 108.5kg I realized that it was just not the most responsible thing to do. I have to loose weight before I get pregnant I want so badly to be in a good place physically and mentally before we made that next big step in our lives and I feel like this is my last chance to do it properly.
This last year at work has been SUPER crazy and some days I was working 12 and 14 hours which lead to 0 exercise and BAD eating habits. My bosses just kept heaping more work and more responsibility on me and I kept saying that I was over worked and that I needed help. Eventually it all came to a head in May when I was planning for a big exhibition and I realized that I just had to put a stop to it. My husband and I had a big talk about how we want to have a baby and about how not only have I not lost the weight I had planned to I was even heavier. I realized that I had to make some major changes and gave my 1 month notice beginning the day we got back from the exhibition. The whole week we were abroad all of the bosses and the CEO tried everything to convince me to stay all of a sudden they were willing to bring in more help etc. I realized though that a leopard doesn't change his spots - at least not that quickly, and even thought it was all very flattering I decided that I need to stick to my decision and focus on the things that are most important to me.
So I quit, I helped them find a replacement, we moved apartments back to be closer to the big city and the plan is now that I work freelance from home and mainly focus on getting healthy and loosing weight.
I started together with a friend a few weeks ago, she just had a baby and is desperate to loose the pregnancy weight. So we weigh in every Sunday morning and generally support each other - so far so good. I am down 3.5kg and just trying to push forward.
One of the VERY positive things about the last year is that I started Bikram yoga. It's basically yoga in a room heated to 40 degrees - SWELTERING HOT!! It is amazing though and I think that once I get into a regular routine it will really help with the weight loss. They say you can burn between 1000 - 1500 cals in a 1.5 hour session.
So I went yesterday and I plan to go today and everyday this week.
My goals for this month are as follows:
To go to yoga EVERY day
To get as close as possible to 100kgs - preferably below but for the sake of keeping it real lets say this month's goal is 100kgs
To sign in here EVERY day and write down HONESTLY my food and excessive logs
To not give up when it gets hard
If you have made it all the way to the end of this long and babbling post then I take my hat off to you and thank you for your kind attention!! I'll be back at the end of the day with my logs. Sending out lots of love and positive energy
xxxx
Silash
