A chance at redemption! My story, my troubles, my life.

SHYJESTA

SHYJESTA

New member
Hello everyone, back in 2007 I was proud to say that I had went from 320 pounds to 260 pounds from May 2007 thru November 2007... though something happened. I remember the day when I "gave in" to my temptations, I had taken a trip to see a college football game, my team lost... on the way home I saw a Godfather's pizza which I had not seen in ages, anyways I stopped and grabbed 2 slices...

now I had not made any mistakes up until that time and I was losing atleast 2-3 pounds a week, I felt so guilty and noticed my self slipping up more and more... My grandmother passed away right before Christmas, I tried to justify my over eating with the sadness I felt. However I clearly new it was just an excuse... SO here I am july 20th, 2009 and guess what, I am back up to 323 pounds! it feels horrible, none of my clothes are fitting me, i'm wearing just plain 4x t shirts...

I dont go out much, I dont have energy to play with my children, or really be the father I should... I dont walk my dog, I can eat a whole pizza now... I look and trust me I feel horrible, I hate the mirror because it doesn't lie, it tells the bitter truth. Now this rant is not all about the bad, because yes I do believe in the power of "belief" this morning I promised myself that I would change, last night I had a fresh batch of cookies, and though i've been starring them down all morning, I am going to go give them to my nephew's and nieces...

I have written down a chart for my daily calories I have set a daily calorie goal... so far it's 11 am and I am still standing! I used to frequent this forum, and I will start to do so once again, I ask for any type of input that you may feel I could benefit from! any pointers, on food? because I am having a tough time trying to think of food to buy? thanks!
 
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sometimes all we can do is take it minute by minute, especially in the beginning. but you'll get through it as long as you hold yourself accountable. i also want to mention that eating the pizza wasn't a mistake. the mistake was depriving yourself for so long that you went on a binge that has taken you until now to recover. i'll give it to you straight, you're going to eat pizza again and you're going to make "mistakes", but learn from them. come here on the forums and vent about them, but then pick yourself back up and start anew.

you have to remember that this is something you need to live with the rest of your life. so you dont want it to be so restrictive that you end up "giving in" and going crazy on the food. granted, that still may happen, but it'll be a day-long binge instead of a month, and you'll learn more about yourself from the binge and the recovery process thereafter.

so what sort of food do you like to eat? maybe start by telling us that, then we can provide some recipes or healthy alternatives.
 
I completely understand how discouraging it can be do to so much work and undo it all. I'm just re-beginning my weight loss journey as well. I can remember a time when i went to the store and got a little 5 roll thing of cinnamon rolls and told myself I could have just one. That weekend I ate that tube on cinnamon rolls, went to the mall and got a cinnabun, then ate a plate of the frozen kind - totaling about 17 cinnamon rolls in 2 days. I felt so ashamed.

But, it only takes one time to do it forever. It doesn't matter how many mistakes we make, all that matters is the successes. When you finish losing your weight nobody will ever say "But you failed the first time!" They'll all be saying how awesome you look.


As far as food goes - I recommend focusing on the perimeter of the grocery store - where they keep the fresh produce, meats, cheeses, etc, and less on the inside aisles with the prepacked foods. That way you won't only be staying within your caloric goals but you'll be eating more nutrient-rich food as well.

Keep in touch! I look forward to sharing your journey!
 
thanks for the words... well day 1 is almost complete... I actually thought I did pretty good, I still have 392 calories left for the day, which I will eat me some melon... but I don't feel hungry at all, and yet I actually ate right. I went to albertson's and bought a couple of packages of lean turkey, some tuna, and brocoli, and veggie mix (frozen) it was hard at first, but once I got the idea that this is to better myself it seemed to go much smoother at the store... I also drank a good amount of water which I had not done for a while. well here is to tomorrow!
 
Well this is the start of day 2 of my journey, like I said day one went well. Today is off to a pleasant start as well, It's been one day but my body feels better today, I pray for strength to resist the temptations that WILL come. haha
 
You can do it! Congrats on making it through Day 1.

Just think - the day is coming (and sooner than you think!) that you won't measure your new lifestyle in days, but weeks. Then months! Then years!

Congrats!
 
thanks! Well it's day 3! wow it's going by fast! I have to go to a baseball game tomorrow, so I will be tempted! Today I feel hungry? then I realized it's 10:30 in the morn and I have not ate anything? guess that would be the reason why I am hungry, in the past I always had a habit of weighing myself daily, but I think I am going to go with weekly... every monday I suppose. Today I plan on eating some grilled turkey!
 
I recommend bringing along a light snack to the game or it will be a million times harder to resist the concessions.

I have a weakness for soft pretzels....
 
well it's 3:23 and I just ate lunch... turkey with brocolli and cheese... all under 400 calories, had some fruit... anyhow well I bought me one of those food scales, a nice one for 20 bucks at wal-mart... so I weighed my packages of turkey and seperated them... I really feel like it's not as hard as I might have thought... weekend will be tough, I plan to give me a day on the weekend were I let myself eat one "regular meal" but I am not sure if I will do it until atleast a few weeks in. somehow someway I need to put some exercise into my life...
 
Llamabean said:
I recommend bringing along a light snack to the game or it will be a million times harder to resist the concessions.

I have a weakness for soft pretzels....
Click to expand...

Yep, it's 25 cent hot dog night... I plan to take some fruit, and a 100 calorie pack of whatever...
 
Hello there Jesta, and welcome back to the forums.

I too used to come here and have relapsed, but I find the knowledge and experience from last time are helping a lot, how about you? It seems like you are back on point pretty well already.

Re: what to eat

I find that dairy helps me a lot. I use milk for the occasional "cheat" of chocolate milk as well as to mix up whey protein in, cottage cheese and pineapple is a great way to get clean cals with healthy carbs and loads of protein, yogurt is a nice snack and the plain or vanilla sorts are a great base for fruit smoothies.

Try 1 c. fruit (frozen works fine BTW), 1 c. plain/vanilla yogurt, a splash of juice and some ice in a blender. Even better is to add whey to this for a better carb/protein ratio.

Lots of eggs for breakfast. I like em in an omelete: 2 egg whites, 1 whole egg, 1 portion of canadian bacon, and 2% cheddar.

During these times my grill is my best friend. I grill 2-3 times a week to keep a fresh rotation of super lean burgers, bison, salmon, chicken, shrimp, and whatever else makes me feel froggy.

I also keep easy options on hand like a bag of dried fruit and a box of single servings of baby carrots.

Finally, I love to mix up a batches of stuff like this Sunmaid chicken chili recipe I found. I use a smaller portion of the raisins and opt for the goldens instead of the regular purples, which gives a very nice effect. (seriously, try it with the raisins just once, I made that face too the 1st time I thought about it)



Anyways, hope that helps and we look forward to seeing your progress from here.
 
thanks for the tips, I agree having a go at it the second time around seems easier... I just need to cook more food, i've eaten basically alot of turkey! haha, eggs sound good, I need to look into making some with canadian bacon... well I started getting major craving's tonight probably because I was bored... but I happy to say that I didn't slip, I ate my dinner, which was a tv dinner- a boston marketplace meal of 440 calories, it was simple but not too fulfilling, I ate two toast with a tbsp of margarine which came out to another 210 calories. I ended with some sugar free jello! I had forgot how little calories the sugar free jello has!
 
Another beautiful El Paso, TX morning... well this is day 4! It's gonna be a busy day... I don't feel hungry! woohoo... not exactly sure what I will eat for breakfast. Probably some cereal.
 
Well everything went well. I stayed within my calorie limit. didn't allow myself to get swept away with hotdogs and all the other stuff they sell. I feel great today! I hope I can keep it up, this will be my first weekend, which kind of is scary as I used to do most of my over eating on the weekends. I gotta just keep at it, I talked to my sister today and told her what I was doing, and she is considering doing the same, I have a total of 5 bro's and sisters including me, and me and her are the only BIG one's she is not as big as me, but she is still obese. I hope I can motivate her enough to get on track.
 
another day bites the dust! I really felt like I had so much energy today, last week I felt so horrible and this week! I feel great, the weekend is here, gonna go fishing with my dad... gonna pack lots of fruit, and water! and a turkey sandwich for lunch!
 
Hey man, glad to see you staying on track. I think I have come close to swallowing my own tongue like three times this month over cravings so I know how tough they can be to resist. Bully to you for doing so!

Good luck with your sister too. My parents are both watching their diets and losing weight. Even though I don't live with them any more they are still local and make a great support group. Living with someone else who is modifying their body will be an even greater boon to you I am sure.

Also, I just realized you have not mentioned a fitness plan. Are you getting any cardio and/or resistance work?
 
Hey there, no not yet... I plan to this week to start jogging or atleast walking... Tomorrow morning I am going to post how many calories I ate for my first week, it's a little shocking to me, but I do plan to do some adjustments, tomorrow morning is also my first weight in! I am anxious to see how I did. Today I actually ate at KFC, I got 3 original recipe strips, and for the sides, I added green beans, and I wanted mash potato's but I went with a second serving of green beans, all that was under 400 calories!
 
Don't forget the resistance work too. I know you want to lose weight, but your body will shed muscle with the fat if you do not take steps to prevent it. Then you end up with the same body composition - only smaller - and still unhappy. Trust me, get under some weights too.
 
thanks, I had sold all my weight equipt, this past winter... so I am looking to join a gym... I just fill embarrassed going to one... anyhow this is a fantastic morning!!! I woke up, still sleepy... but I knew it was my weigh-in day: I got on the scale, and at first glance I saw it! I went from 323 pounds last week, to 313 pounds this week!!! I had a feeling it would be a good number, so I am happy, I just hope I can keep it up! I am going to list how many calories I ate in my next post!
 
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