2008: The Best Version of Myself

brunettegoddess

brunettegoddess

New member
Happy New Year everyone! A few people may remember me from before, and I shied away from a public journal because of how I felt emotionally but I think that the way things have come together for me over the past few months I've put all of that whining and fear in the past and I'm ready to jump in. And I will admit that ghost reading the site has really helped the scientific part of weightloss come together. Mals personality/tips, Steve and Leigh P's comments/articles/professionalism, CurvieGirl's right-on selfesteem, and so many other individuals trials, mistakes, experiences, successes, pictures, etc... so here I am. I do want to be the best version of myself. At 23 I feel as though I'm betraying myself by being anything but the best person I can be physically, mentally, socially, spiritually. I've deserved happiness for a long time and I'm the only one who can provide me with that. Losing weight and being in shape will give me much better self esteem and confidence and that's where I will be happiest. I started muay thai kickboxing classes in mid-November and I plan on cracking down on watching my caloric intake. I've been tracking it spottily for a while but I've got some things coming up that I want to look good for. So tomorrow I'll post a weight tracker and an events countdown tracker. I'm hoping 2008 will be the best year yet.... in every way imaginable!
 
You deserve it beautiful lady :)

Love the title of your journal...

I wish there was a better versionof this song but it willhave to do :)


You're wonderful as you are... you're only gonna get better...
 
Hey..I had to write you back here because it wouldn't let me reply to your message until I'm a member for 5 days. But I just wanted to say thank you so much for the message...its nice to have someone to talk to that knows what Maggie is going through. Once my 5 days hits..I can write more..lol.

Thanks again!
 
So today I've got my ticker up. I also wanted to put in two countdown tickers for some things coming up in February and March, but alas, not enough room at the inn... or in the signature box. I've been weighing my food lately for a more accurate count of calories... the vid that Leigh posted a few weeks back was an eye opener... as someone who feels "seasoned" at this weight thing, I never realized that measuring cups were so off... it now makes me feel like I should question recipes when baking... is a half cup really a half cup, or is it supposed to be more than 4oz? Anyway, I have my food plotted out for today except 200 calories I still need to put in somewhere... I think I can manage to plan that out later after my kickboxing class.

Also, I'm already feeling the "need for speed". I've been overweight to varying degrees my entire life.... ENTIRE LIFE... so why am I suddenly in such a rush? I need to be reasonable about this before I crash and burn. I think these next few months are going to be a big lesson in reasonable, taking a deep breath, taking my setbacks as a fact of life and not failure on my part. But I feel good about this year and not just weight wise... life wise... I'm hoping for some big things... at least big to me. Taking a more direct look at my future, start to make some plans, figure out what I want to go back to school for... take some classes in fun things and start teaching voice lessons again. I need to practice vocally and from a teaching standpoint. So much so much to do!!! And more than anything I need to sit down and get my shit together with researching weight lifting. I get two free personal sessions at the boxing studio and I'm hoping that my ever so gorgeous kickboxing instructor knows his shit... but I need to research first.

Oh, and it's freezing in GA. As in I needed to thaw out from standing at the bus stop this morning for 10 minutes. I get so spoiled with the warmer weather here until it's not warm, and my coworkers ask me if it feels like home.

Halfway through the week. Hope everyone is enjoying it so far.
 
It's really hard not to feel the "need for speed". I often times find myself impatient with my weight loss, but I constantly have to remind myself that it is one day at a time! We just have to be patient... it's about the big picture! We want to do it in a manageable, realistic, healthy way! :)

I'm glad to see you have a ticker up! You're gonna love watching that star move along! :D
 
it now makes me feel like I should question recipes when baking... is a half cup really a half cup, or is it supposed to be more than 4oz
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I'm not a real baker as I dont l ike the exact measurmentsness of it -but years ago -I was a huge fan of Jeff smith (the frugal gourmet) and my go to bread recipe is from his cookbook - and it'snot 5 cups of flour -it's a weighed measurement becuase on any given day -5 cups can have one weight and on antoehr day it will have another weight -so for baking -especially for bread -weighing is the preferred method...
 
Daiseeangel- I saw your ticker there, and since it's first thing in the morning I almost thought it was mine... you can imagine my rejoicing at seeing only 14 pounds left... :)

Mal- This may explain why the cake recipe I tried to make from the Barefoot Contessa didn't work out so well... it went rather poorly actually. But it makes me wonder when I watch the Foodnetwork how they make things work and they use measuring cups/spoons instead of weighing foods. Perhaps they just know how heavy it should feel??


On another note, I think I've also got myself a bit more grounded. I'm vesting my interest and expectations in making sure I go to the gym everyday, and that I track what I eat, eat reasonably and if I can do that and I lose weight (which I hope I do), then I will be happy with that. I have a very narrow focus on my diet (meaning my meal menu, and not "a diet") and my exercise. If I do this for three weeks and I don't lose weight, I"m going to play around with my cals and see how that works. It would just be easier if I could get an estimate of what I burn at the gym. The place boasts that one class can burn 700-800, and while I'm sure for some people it does, I'm not sure that's what I burn. I think I burn about 400-500 and that could very well be a gross overstimation. Also I think it's easier to go to class and work hard when you have a gorgeous instructor :beating: (Mal- you'd be taking your clothes off right there with all that angst you've got building up ;))

More gym tonight and hopefully more sleep. I'm still trying to get used to sleeping in my apartment on my own... I've got myself all creeped out for no reason:(
 
(Mal- you'd be taking your clothes off right there with all that angst you've got building u
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Unfortunately it's always best if i keep my clothes on... i look way better that way :)

Good for you for finding some grounding.... you've got a good head on your shoulders, you will get to where you want... :D
 
A Rant: My Memory

The past month has been infuriatingly frustrating... to be honest I think it's been longer than a month, but I can't remember. I typically have a sharp as a tack memory. You can't get past me on one altered comment because I've always remembered what people say, when they did things, who or how many people were there... just batshit crazy details. But lately my memory is all over the place. Checking three times in five minutes to make sure my keys are in my coat pocket... misplacing everything... and really it's not misplaced, I just can't remember where I put things. I don't remember what I showed up at the store for, often leaving without the main item I went to the store for. And it's overwhelming because I feel constantly stressed that I can't remember where my check card is... oh it's in my pocket, and it was there five minutes ago when you checked and five before that. It's aggravating and I feel exhausted. And I'm scared what the future holds if this is happening now:(
 
proving my point

And just to prove my point, I originally started that post because I wanted to bitch about not being able to find where I put the bobby pins that I wore into work this morning, that hold my bangs back at the gym after work. :ack2:
 
Lol, I kind of feel like you do right now. Though I think my forgetfulness is as a result of the cough syrup I'm taking. Why do you think your memory has been less than sharp lately?
 
there are a lot of things that can trigger absentmindedness... dehydration, depression, stress, medication... Write yourself notes when it pops into your head that you want to do soething and don't worry about it.. your mind will come back when your stress levels subside a bit...
 
brunettegoddess said:
The past month has been infuriatingly frustrating... to be honest I think it's been longer than a month, but I can't remember. I typically have a sharp as a tack memory. .............. And it's overwhelming because I feel constantly stressed that I can't remember where my check card is... oh it's in my pocket, and it was there five minutes ago when you checked and five before that. It's aggravating and I feel exhausted. And I'm scared what the future holds if this is happening now:(
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Ugh I can totally relate. Lately, I feel the same way. For example: I get in my car in the morning as I head to work and I can't remember if I turned my straightening iron off... so then I have to turn around and check. I do that ALOT.
 
The straight iron is a big one for me, too. Lately I've been getting in the habit of unplugging everything except my alarm clock just to make it a reliable habit; and I try to take a mental picture of unplugging the iron or space heater. In college I used to leave the clothes iron plugged in and turned on all the time. My roommate was always furious when i did that, and for good reason too.

Lanadefemme- I think that what Mal proposed as possibilities is the answer to my mindlessness. December was very stressful. So stressful for me at one point that I could barely eat because I constantly felt sick to my stomach. I'm pretty laid back person and it's been awhile since that's happened. It even messed up my cycle... I'm pretty regular with it being about28-30 days and this time it didn't show up for 40 days... which again was stressful since I have a boyfriend *cough cough*. And I was constantly busy between moving, two hectic weeks at work, my car breaking down (again :(), Jeff came back from a business trip, a friend of mine came to visit, then I went home for Christmas spur of the moment. I'm hoping that perhaps this month will be smoother.

Made it to kickboxing again last night. McPGTMN (Please God take me now!!! -- or my hottie instructor) is all about the kicks this week. I've got some nice bruises from really giving it hard to the bag. But tonight I am skipping class in lieu of a date night with Jeff. If I go to class I will be too exhausted afterward to do anything and I'll want to go to sleep early.

And one rant about my gym where I really have no other complaints...the women who show up to the class without a bra on. These girls are not in the itty bitty titty club either. They show up braless in spaghetti strap flimsy stretchy shirts and not only does it just irk me because I think it's tasteless... it's not good for breast tissue. You don't just stand in front of the the bag and punch. There is running, push-ups, lunges, crawling, squats, and all sorts of different things that contort your body 1000 different ways in 50 minutes. What good is an in shape 20-30 something year old body when your tits are at your knees?
 
But tonight I am skipping class in lieu of a date night with Jeff.
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YAY have fun...
If I go to class I will be too exhausted afterward to do anything
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oooh don't do anything i would :D Oh wait... no you can sleepin tomorrow - have oodles of fun doing everything i would do :D
 
maleficent said:
oooh don't do anything i would :D Oh wait... no you can sleepin tomorrow - have oodles of fun doing everything i would do :D
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Mal I can't tell if you have a dirty mind from that statement, or if I just have a dirty mind from what I think your inferring, or maybe both. But our date will be traditional Wendy's for dinner, then we're going to the observatory to do some star/planet/galaxy gazing (I hope it's a clear night!), and then we're going to the flight simulators and play around with different scenarios while flying. It's actually really cool because the simulators are designed to be exactly like flying a real plane but without ever lifting off. The FAA actually uses them to train commercial plane pilots... it's the real shit.
 
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