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10 Steps to the Body You Want
The shortest path is through your brain. Here are the tools you need.
By Pamela M. Peeke, MD, MPH , Dr. Peeke is a senior scientist at the National Institutes of Health in Developmental Endocrinology and Metabolism, where she has researched the relationship between stress, nutrition and longevity.
Prevention
"I was doing really well until..." As a doctor who counsels women trying to lose weight, I've heard this too many times. An upset patient settles into the overstuffed armchair across from my desk, and utters her tale of defeat.
You've probably said those words yourself, dozens of times. You're doing great, eating right, working out regularly, and something happens. You hurt your back or shoulder and find it difficult to train. Maybe life just gets crazy and suddenly you're missing workouts and turning to food for comfort. The hell with mini-meals and lean protein. What you need is a pile of cookies.
I sympathize—I've had my share of those days. But life happens. I have no doubt that you're a master at helping the people you care about get through tough times. But when things get funky in your life, do you give yourself the same treatment?
The following 10 steps are all about turning that feminine impulse to nurture inward and becoming your own best caregiver, regardless of the obstacles life places in your path. These principles will help you stay on track, no matter what life throws at you.
Pledge to Change
You've had it. You're tired of feeling like crud every day, and you're determined to get in shape, mentally and physically.
Hold on. You may be champing at the bit to overhaul your diet, start exercising—become the new you. But if your positive changes are to be permanent, you need to recognize the adversity you'll face. I want you to put your intentions in writing and acknowledge the difficult times to come. On the best stationery you can find—no scrap paper—write out and complete the following contract.
I, ______________________ , commit to starting my weight loss program on ___________ (date). I believe that I can accept and complete my challenge to the best of my ability.
I realize this is work and accept the self-care price I must pay to achieve my mental and physical transformation.
I commit to keeping a daily journal that tracks my progress and forgives my slipups.
I will practice these 10 principles to help myself stay the course.
I will expect and adapt to adversity and see tough times as learning opportunities.
I will strive to take action and not to ruminate, bitch, moan, or whine.
I will be self-assertive and fight for the right to take care of myself.
I will acknowledge and reward myself for my achievements along the way.
You will do battle with your inner demons that try to pull you back into your familiar, self-destructive ways. But in the end, you'll win. Every time you embrace this challenge, you're one step closer to the best woman you can be.
Find Your Motivation
When I was in medical school, I was taught that the greatest motivation to change an unhealthy lifestyle is the desire to prevent or treat a disease. But I have a vivid memory of a woman I sent packing after a coronary bypass, who told me she couldn't wait to load up on her favorite fast food and light a cigarette to celebrate.
Often, getting healthy isn't enough motivation. That's why I'm asking you to create a Motivational Target—like an archery target with inner and outer rings. The outer rings include the reasons you feel obligated to make a change, such as your health, and the inner rings are the deeply personal, maybe even hidden reasons that make you want to change. Here's how to do it.
Sit down with a piece of blank white paper. Draw an archery target—at least four rings and a bull's-eye. Ask yourself one question: Why do I want to change my body? Write down the first three answers that come to mind.
Chances are, they represent your Global Motivations: I want to change because I want to be healthier. I want to change because I'll die if I don't. Distill your answers into simple phrases and write them in the outermost ring.
Now go deeper. Ask again: Why do I want to change? Look for answers that stop you in your tracks. They might be serious or humorous. Write out the first three you think of and turn each into a key phrase.
These are your Target Motivations, and you need to anchor them with a Mantra that will conjure up its power when you need it most. It should be simple, contain a powerful visual image if possible, and smack you in the head like an invisible two-by-four so it will knock you out of your "I gotta eat" trance. It should also contain the phrases "run from" and "run to." Here's an example of how you might come up with a Mantra.
Say your Target Motivation is to be happy, fit, and free, living life to the fullest. But right now, there's a package of Oreos screaming at you. So what's the consequence of giving in? How about this: You're standing in the hot summer sun, dressed in dark, shapeless clothing that feels like a shroud. You're sweating as you watch others jog in shorts, bike in colorful clothes, and enjoy life. So "sweaty shroud" is what you run from. What do you want to run to? After some thought, you might conjure up a vision of yourself on a bike, clad in a pair of clingy biking shorts, riding up a long hill on a country road. You look and feel fit and free. You're joyful, happy, loving life. Okay. You've got it.
Motivation Mantra: Run from sweaty shroud; run to bike ride on country road, feeling joyful and free.
Repeat this process for each of the inner rings. You'll end up with at least three Target Motivations, any one of which can function as your bull's-eye.
Learn to Let Joy In
When I meet a patient, one of the first questions I ask is, "What in your life gives you joy?" Women often say, "My partner" or "My kids." My response is, "Aside from your family, what gives you joy?" Too often, the reply is a blank stare.
Caring for a family is one aspect of what makes you whole. You must find what else brings you joy, whether that's returning to school, writing, growing a garden, or cooking gourmet meals.
One way to start along the path to joy is to stop each time you're confronted with a demand on your time and ask yourself this question: "Will this thing, event, or person bring me joy?" If the answer is, "Absolutely," congratulations—you've discovered what you need. If you answer, "I don't know," then give it a try. You'll know soon enough. But if the answer is, "No," why would you let it into your life? If you can't avoid it, limit the time you devote to it.
You may have to put in some work to find joy. At the age of 40, I laced up my sneakers and gave running a try. Now I'm in training for my third marathon.
Whine But Get the Job Done
Next to the armchair that my patients use during their appointments sits a ceramic jar labeled "Dr. Peeke's Early Retirement Fund." When a patient starts in with the negative self-comments, she has to put $1 into the jar. At the rate some of my patients are going, I'll be playing golf 24-7 in no time.
Listen to yourself: "I'm stupid, I'm fat, I'm ugly, I'm a failure, my legs are too short..." I call this a Rumination Rut. The dictionary definition of ruminate is "to go over in the mind repeatedly." The next definition is "to chew repeatedly for an extended period." Let's see, stewing and chewing in response to stress—boy, did Webster get that right. This leaves you vulnerable to BMW—bitching, moaning, and whining—about your body, your willpower, your behind, your this, your that. The biggest source of BMW-ing is refusing to accept that transformation takes mental and physical sweat, intensity, mindfulness, and focus—all the things, by the way, that you apply to your job, your kids, and your relationships.
Getting out of the rut is straightforward: Employ any distraction technique at your disposal. Get off the couch and go for a walk. Take the kids bowling or roller-skating. Clean out your closets. Do anything but let your brain hold your butt hostage.
Forget Perfection, Embrace Progress
Some women have a huge problem with this principle because all their lives, they've tried to be perfect—perfect wife, perfect mother, perfect employee, perfect friend. Is this your story, too? Look, no woman—no human—diets and trains perfectly day after day, so striving for perfection is a prescription for guilt. It eats away at the positive energy you need for making progress.
"Progress, not perfection" means that if you work hard and keep your focus 80% of the time, you're doing great. The other 20% of the time, you get to be human—fallible. Did you miss your workout today? No worries. You'll regroup and bounce back tomorrow.
Here's where keeping a journal will come in handy. Reflect on your day and write down at least three things that you did well and that helped you move forward. This gives you positive reinforcement and helps you build momentum because you're giving yourself credit where credit is due.
The shortest path is through your brain. Here are the tools you need.
By Pamela M. Peeke, MD, MPH , Dr. Peeke is a senior scientist at the National Institutes of Health in Developmental Endocrinology and Metabolism, where she has researched the relationship between stress, nutrition and longevity.
Prevention
"I was doing really well until..." As a doctor who counsels women trying to lose weight, I've heard this too many times. An upset patient settles into the overstuffed armchair across from my desk, and utters her tale of defeat.
You've probably said those words yourself, dozens of times. You're doing great, eating right, working out regularly, and something happens. You hurt your back or shoulder and find it difficult to train. Maybe life just gets crazy and suddenly you're missing workouts and turning to food for comfort. The hell with mini-meals and lean protein. What you need is a pile of cookies.
I sympathize—I've had my share of those days. But life happens. I have no doubt that you're a master at helping the people you care about get through tough times. But when things get funky in your life, do you give yourself the same treatment?
The following 10 steps are all about turning that feminine impulse to nurture inward and becoming your own best caregiver, regardless of the obstacles life places in your path. These principles will help you stay on track, no matter what life throws at you.
Pledge to Change
You've had it. You're tired of feeling like crud every day, and you're determined to get in shape, mentally and physically.
Hold on. You may be champing at the bit to overhaul your diet, start exercising—become the new you. But if your positive changes are to be permanent, you need to recognize the adversity you'll face. I want you to put your intentions in writing and acknowledge the difficult times to come. On the best stationery you can find—no scrap paper—write out and complete the following contract.
I, ______________________ , commit to starting my weight loss program on ___________ (date). I believe that I can accept and complete my challenge to the best of my ability.
I realize this is work and accept the self-care price I must pay to achieve my mental and physical transformation.
I commit to keeping a daily journal that tracks my progress and forgives my slipups.
I will practice these 10 principles to help myself stay the course.
I will expect and adapt to adversity and see tough times as learning opportunities.
I will strive to take action and not to ruminate, bitch, moan, or whine.
I will be self-assertive and fight for the right to take care of myself.
I will acknowledge and reward myself for my achievements along the way.
You will do battle with your inner demons that try to pull you back into your familiar, self-destructive ways. But in the end, you'll win. Every time you embrace this challenge, you're one step closer to the best woman you can be.
Find Your Motivation
When I was in medical school, I was taught that the greatest motivation to change an unhealthy lifestyle is the desire to prevent or treat a disease. But I have a vivid memory of a woman I sent packing after a coronary bypass, who told me she couldn't wait to load up on her favorite fast food and light a cigarette to celebrate.
Often, getting healthy isn't enough motivation. That's why I'm asking you to create a Motivational Target—like an archery target with inner and outer rings. The outer rings include the reasons you feel obligated to make a change, such as your health, and the inner rings are the deeply personal, maybe even hidden reasons that make you want to change. Here's how to do it.
Sit down with a piece of blank white paper. Draw an archery target—at least four rings and a bull's-eye. Ask yourself one question: Why do I want to change my body? Write down the first three answers that come to mind.
Chances are, they represent your Global Motivations: I want to change because I want to be healthier. I want to change because I'll die if I don't. Distill your answers into simple phrases and write them in the outermost ring.
Now go deeper. Ask again: Why do I want to change? Look for answers that stop you in your tracks. They might be serious or humorous. Write out the first three you think of and turn each into a key phrase.
These are your Target Motivations, and you need to anchor them with a Mantra that will conjure up its power when you need it most. It should be simple, contain a powerful visual image if possible, and smack you in the head like an invisible two-by-four so it will knock you out of your "I gotta eat" trance. It should also contain the phrases "run from" and "run to." Here's an example of how you might come up with a Mantra.
Say your Target Motivation is to be happy, fit, and free, living life to the fullest. But right now, there's a package of Oreos screaming at you. So what's the consequence of giving in? How about this: You're standing in the hot summer sun, dressed in dark, shapeless clothing that feels like a shroud. You're sweating as you watch others jog in shorts, bike in colorful clothes, and enjoy life. So "sweaty shroud" is what you run from. What do you want to run to? After some thought, you might conjure up a vision of yourself on a bike, clad in a pair of clingy biking shorts, riding up a long hill on a country road. You look and feel fit and free. You're joyful, happy, loving life. Okay. You've got it.
Motivation Mantra: Run from sweaty shroud; run to bike ride on country road, feeling joyful and free.
Repeat this process for each of the inner rings. You'll end up with at least three Target Motivations, any one of which can function as your bull's-eye.
Learn to Let Joy In
When I meet a patient, one of the first questions I ask is, "What in your life gives you joy?" Women often say, "My partner" or "My kids." My response is, "Aside from your family, what gives you joy?" Too often, the reply is a blank stare.
Caring for a family is one aspect of what makes you whole. You must find what else brings you joy, whether that's returning to school, writing, growing a garden, or cooking gourmet meals.
One way to start along the path to joy is to stop each time you're confronted with a demand on your time and ask yourself this question: "Will this thing, event, or person bring me joy?" If the answer is, "Absolutely," congratulations—you've discovered what you need. If you answer, "I don't know," then give it a try. You'll know soon enough. But if the answer is, "No," why would you let it into your life? If you can't avoid it, limit the time you devote to it.
You may have to put in some work to find joy. At the age of 40, I laced up my sneakers and gave running a try. Now I'm in training for my third marathon.
Whine But Get the Job Done
Next to the armchair that my patients use during their appointments sits a ceramic jar labeled "Dr. Peeke's Early Retirement Fund." When a patient starts in with the negative self-comments, she has to put $1 into the jar. At the rate some of my patients are going, I'll be playing golf 24-7 in no time.
Listen to yourself: "I'm stupid, I'm fat, I'm ugly, I'm a failure, my legs are too short..." I call this a Rumination Rut. The dictionary definition of ruminate is "to go over in the mind repeatedly." The next definition is "to chew repeatedly for an extended period." Let's see, stewing and chewing in response to stress—boy, did Webster get that right. This leaves you vulnerable to BMW—bitching, moaning, and whining—about your body, your willpower, your behind, your this, your that. The biggest source of BMW-ing is refusing to accept that transformation takes mental and physical sweat, intensity, mindfulness, and focus—all the things, by the way, that you apply to your job, your kids, and your relationships.
Getting out of the rut is straightforward: Employ any distraction technique at your disposal. Get off the couch and go for a walk. Take the kids bowling or roller-skating. Clean out your closets. Do anything but let your brain hold your butt hostage.
Forget Perfection, Embrace Progress
Some women have a huge problem with this principle because all their lives, they've tried to be perfect—perfect wife, perfect mother, perfect employee, perfect friend. Is this your story, too? Look, no woman—no human—diets and trains perfectly day after day, so striving for perfection is a prescription for guilt. It eats away at the positive energy you need for making progress.
"Progress, not perfection" means that if you work hard and keep your focus 80% of the time, you're doing great. The other 20% of the time, you get to be human—fallible. Did you miss your workout today? No worries. You'll regroup and bounce back tomorrow.
Here's where keeping a journal will come in handy. Reflect on your day and write down at least three things that you did well and that helped you move forward. This gives you positive reinforcement and helps you build momentum because you're giving yourself credit where credit is due.
We all lose our motivation sometimes, but that's why we come here. Glad this article could help.