Sunflower's Slimming

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Sunflower night time when the kids were in bed for me too was like reward time. Tv and junk food. Happy days. I keep my chocolate allowance for night time at about 8 pm or later. I have a little 100 cal ish snack in the fridge which I nibble with a cup of tea. Could be 2 biscuits or a SW bar . 2 finger kit Kat etc . I don't keep stuff in the home now though in case I overeat. I now maybe do my nails or straighten my hair or cleanse my face just to keep fingers busy too.
 
Petal001 said:
I now maybe do my nails or straighten my hair or cleanse my face just to keep fingers busy too.
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Great strategy, Petal! Doing some kind of craft can work, too, for the same reason, ie keeping fingers busy.
 
Thanks everyone. The mother in law has landed from Austin and is being a huge pain in my ass already..making comments about how I'm weaning/feeding the baby and generally being quite passive aggressive. Ashamed to say I plied her with gin last night so she went to bed early - I'm the worst! Going to make her watch a horror film now and curl up with Yank.

26/10/19 - 206lbs

Breakfast: bagel with banana and peanut butter (418)
Lunch: 2 egg omelette with cheese (395)
Dinner: home made tacos (650)
Snacks: /

Total: 1463
 
Hi, Han. My MIL was horrid to me for a long long time (20 years) & it wasn't until we had "the chat" that we got along. It was an "I love your son & I'm not going anywhere, so it's best we learn to get along" chat & we both were honest with one another & ended up in tears. It made all the difference to how we treated one another though. Do you think a talk along the lines of "I'm doing the best I can & would appreciate some support" chat would change things? I think they get jealous seeing someone else making their son so happy. :grouphug:
 
Good to see you eating well. And dealing reasonably with a PIA MIL.

Thanks for your nice posts on my diary, the support is appreciated.

We live about 100 miles north of Provo, a lot closer than you do, but not too close.
 
Sunflower I’m so jealous of the bagel peanut butter and banana . One of most favourite meals ever but I had to decide to stop buying peanut bitter as I over ate it so much . I might treat myself for Xmas if I am well in the 170s by then.

Not sure if you were in on the “ that’s nice “ talk We had on Cates thread a while back but a few “ that’s nice “ answers might go down well lol ‘
 
Haha, Petal that is a stellar idea.. I will try tomorrow. I'm pretty sure she's misusing prescription painkillers, we had to put her to bed last night. Challenging times.. Needless to say she won't be babysitting!

Cate, I've had that discussion with her several times. She blames me (rightly so) for Yank leaving the States. Yanks brother died a few years ago and it's been very hard on her. I'm trying to be kind. Must try harder!
 
Food for today before I forget!

Breakfast: Bagel (252)
Lunch: grilled chicken and avocado salad with toasted seeds. Handful of chips (620)
Dinner: Yanks's homemade pizza (750)
Snacks: kiwi, handful of chocolate, small amount of popcorn (350)
 
Oh dear. Challenging times indeed. I'm sure you are very kind already. How long is she staying?
 
Oh, that's hard, hard on all of you - except blessedly, for your baby, who must be blissfully unaware of any tensions. Did she only have the two children?
We also have cross-continental marriages in the family - in fact, I'm the product of one! - and I know how really tough (and expensive!) it can be trying to juggle conflicting family demands across great distances. Best wishes for the rest of the visit.
 
Sunflower_ said:
She blames me (rightly so) for Yank leaving the States.
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If she raised him to be a responsible, independent adult she's got nobody to blame but him. It's just easier to blame an outsider. I'm sure it's hard for her but that's not your fault.
 
Cate - she leaves a week today. It's fine, mostly - I'm probably reading too much into her little digs. She is very odd with food...barely eats all day and then the last two nights she has come down in the night and raided our cupboards and taken all sorts of food upstairs which we hear her eating. I hope she's okay.
Thanks Amy (it is Amy, isn't it? Hope I'm right!). Little L is blissfully unaware, you are right. And it has been lovely watching her get to know him. Yes, just Yank and his brother. He hung himself and she found him so I'm sure there is some PTSD type thing going on with her too. I can't imagine. Me and Yank will put SUCH an emphasis on talking about mental health with our boy..The statistics are so worrying. Where are your parents from?

Thanks LaMa - I know you're right, really. Still feel some level of guilt but Yank is so happy here and we have built such a beautiful life and family it's hard to feel too sad for her - surely you would be so pleased your child has found his happy place?


All quiet in the Sunflower household this morning - L is struggling with sleep as has a stinking cold so I was up at midnight (I woke him up sleeptalking!), 3am and then again at 5 so me and Yank are having a coffee and I've got a chicken casserole in the slow cooker. MIL won't eat vegetables (seriously) so I will freeze it to have when she has gone. I'm supposed to be going to a lovely Turkish restaurant tonight with the other volunteers from the soup kitchen.. I may have a few starters or a salad to try and limit the damage as we are eating out at lunch today as well. We are going here today with the baby and MIL - Butser Ancient Farm, experimental archaeology, prehistory to Anglo Saxon My friend from Dungeons and Dragons works there and we can go and feed the animals and enjoy the fresh air for a few hours.
 
I love England for all the farms and outdoor museums . And old houses and gardens. I feel a bit bad now Sunflower telling you to tell her that's nice. She must be very sad to have found her son like that , a tragic story. I'm sure she is of course very happy that Yank is happy but maybe can't show it well. You do sound very kind towards her .
 
Thanks P - don't always feel very kind but I am trying. She comes so rarely I have to make an effort and I do love her. She's just a very challenging woman, and was before Yank's brother died. I wish we could do more to help her but she needs professional support and it frustrates me that she uses Yank as a counsellor. He is dealing with his own grief and it's not fair of her to put the responsibility of her happiness and mental well being onto her child. Anyway, I'm sure all will be well. It's nice to be able to have a bit of a moan here - even if I know I'm being a little unfair to her.
 
In your head (and on here) you can be as unfair as you want. Is Yank getting professional support with his grief and his changed relationship with his mom? Sounds like he needs all the help he can get!
 
You & Yank have such a lovely relationship and you will get through this week because you are a smart cookie. Vent here as much as you like. It's good for us all to do that. Like, LaMa I hope that Yank got professional help after his brother killed himself, even if he thought he didn't need it. I didn't and suppressed it for a long, long time. That would still be a living hell for their Mum. I do hope she gets help. Does she talk about it to Yank? My Mum never did.
I hope the next week goes quickly for you hon. Give your little boy (& big boy) lots and lots of hugs. I hope he gets better fast. :grouphug:
 
The week will fly by Sunflower so just go with the flow. Make a few new memories for Yank and his mum with outings etc , which it sounds like you are doing anyway. Yourva good wife and daughter in law.
 
Oh, Sunflower, what a hard, hard, complex situation! A week for as much gentleness and self-care as you can possibly give yourself, as well as the kindness you're giving Yank and his mother.
You said she can only get to visit rarely - is this her first meeting with L? The outing you had on the weekend to the farm sounded really good for you all - the fresh air, and being able to focus on feeding the animals, and especially on what L made of it all. Sending you all good wishes for the rest of the week, and especially for it to end well.
 
Ohhh you guys - made me all misty eyed this morning. You're a good bunch.

LaMa - Yank had counselling through work for a few years, found it very helpful. I run some resilience workshops at work so have been drip feeding that over the years and he's very articulate about his emotions now. So proud of him!

Cate - sorry to see you've had a similar experience.. Yes, she talks incessantly about it with Yank which is very damaging - she describes how she found him in horrible detail which has been very damaging to Yank over the years. Apparently she has a new therapist now so I'm hoping we can wean her off talking so much about it with him as he isn't able to do much but listen (and even that he finds very hard.)

Thank you, Amy. I took on board what you said about self-care and had a glorious nap this morning and have put healthy food in my face instead of the three rounds of toast I actually wanted. Yes, it's her first time meeting L - what a special week for her! She is besotted.

Off to the Aquarium today to introduce L to fishes (and otters, randomly.) We will take a walk along the beach to get there - it's cold her and windy but very refreshing. Good for clearing the mind! L slept terribly again last night - I'm weaning him and his tummy has been unhappy so we had TWO poo explosions in the night which needed sheet and outfit changes! Joy. Aim for today is to eat well - I've succeeded for breakfast and lunch, positive thoughts for dinner please, haha!
 
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