Rebel's Diary

Today was a good day calorie wise. I got my calories up to a little over 1500. Carbs i didnt worry about too much. My appetite seems to b slowly returning.
 
The time hasnt bothered me much for the last week or so. Its almost 1:30 am and no sleep in the forcast. Ill prob get about 2 hours sleep again.
 
Things got pretty bad early this morning so i went to the hospital. They gave me an actright shot. Mixture of thorazine haldol and a few other things for flavor. Feeling much better although very zombie like.
Hoping for a good day
 
That's scary. I'm glad you have access to emergency care and hope you'll be able to sleep on the zombie meds. Two hours of sleep a night?! I feel like a zombie after one bad night and I'm sure my total was at least 4 hours or so. Not sending any hugs because they'd be the insomniac kind right now.
 
LaMaria said:
That's scary. I'm glad you have access to emergency care and hope you'll be able to sleep on the zombie meds. Two hours of sleep a night?! I feel like a zombie after one bad night and I'm sure my total was at least 4 hours or so. Not sending any hugs because they'd be the insomniac kind right now.
Click to expand...
:)
 
I had ONE night with only 2 hours sleep last night(the night before was probably about 4) & I feel hideous. I can't even imagine how you must have been feeling. I'm so glad that you are able to recognise when you need help & then go get it. You are so supportive & a strong person Rebel.
:grouphug: xo Cate
 
cate said:
I had ONE night with only 2 hours sleep last night(the night before was probably about 4) & I feel hideous. I can't even imagine how you must have been feeling. I'm so glad that you are able to recognise when you need help & then go get it. You are so supportive & a strong person Rebel.
:grouphug: xo Cate
Click to expand...
Its been going on for awhile so I've learned to recognize when things are bad vs hospital time. Depression i normally have to ride out. The manic stuff is harder. Its hard to explain to someone who has never gone through it. Its like if you took alot of amphetamines. Your brain gets to moving real fast. So fast its as if the world around you in slow motion. Your thought process is almost on overdrive. That part of it is nice because you get super productive and can multitask at an extreme level and simply dont need sleep. Then things get to moving too fast and things tend to make less and less sense. This is where i was and i knew it was hospital time. I so didnt want it to get worse. Next is everything seems to stop making sense and its almost like your thought process is instinctual rather than intelligent. Its strange because your whole personality changes.
I have a good relationship with the emergency psychiatric treatment center. When i tell them i need a shot they know exactly what im talking about so its a pretty quick visit.
 
Soooo ready for bed. The shot i got today really zonked me. I did cook for the first time in awhile.

Breakfast- Fried eggs with turkey bacon. (400 calories)

Lunch- Lamb steak, mac n cheese single. (800 calories)

Dinner- protein shake; almond milk, whey powder, peanut butter. (420 calories)

BMR> 2691
Cals> 1620
Total> -1071
 
Yay for knowing your way around your own brain and having the pros take that expertise seriously :grouphug: I like the sound of lamb steak!
 
It's great that you can get the help that you need and very sensible of you for recognising you needed to go, especially during a manic episode when it must be so very difficult to distinguish where the line lies. It sounds like you had a great day food wise, you must be a pretty good cook to whip up all of that!
 
LessOfJess said:
It's great that you can get the help that you need and very sensible of you for recognising you needed to go, especially during a manic episode when it must be so very difficult to distinguish where the line lies. It sounds like you had a great day food wise, you must be a pretty good cook to whip up all of that!
Click to expand...
It can be diffucult. It has taken years to get a somewhat handle on it all.
I was mostly raised by my grandmother and she was an awesome cook. I also have a friend thats a personal chef and she also teaches cooking courses at the local college. She lets my slide in from time to time so i can pick up a few tips.
 
I got some sleep lastnight. It wasnt alot but more than im use too. A plus is no crazy psychedelic dreams.
Think ill try and get some more.
Ni-night
 
Solid sleep rocks. Don't worry about the calories in lamb. You need calories to function. You're currently eating less every day then I need just to keep going and you're a dude. And taller/bigger than me! /caloriepolicerant
 
I'm glad you're the calorie police LaMa. I haven't had the energy & you do a really good job.
I hope you get a lovely sleep Rebel xo
 
We rant because we care <3
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top