I feel as though I'm too self-conscious at the gym. I'm pretty skinny to begin with which is the reason I go to the gym in the first place - to bulk up. However, I feel like everyone is frowning at me anyway. See, the gym I go to is sponsored by our local community college, so many local athletes are there. Most of who are already in good shape, and around 6 foot or more. Whereas, I'm only 5'7, skinny, and I'm Asian, so I feel like my ethnicity makes me stick out. We are a VERY small community, 6700 people, so seeing lots of different ethnicities at the gym is somewhat of a rarity, I've concluded. So I feel like I'm being judged whenever I work out and therefore, I can't focus on my work out as much. I also have a phobia of going to a certain machine if someone else is on the machine next to it which often prevents me from doing some of the machines I need to do. Also, I am very self-conscious whenever I go to take the weights off a machine that someone else didn't take off when they left it. Sometimes they use VERY heavy plates for the leg press, and don't take them off and they're like ten times bigger than me, so I struggle to get it off, and I feel slightly embarrassed.
I'm too self-conscious at the gym
- Thread starter prodigymytch
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Hey Mytch,
Cheer up man...everyone has to start somewhere. My advice is: A\ Stop worrying about what the others are thinking and do your WO. B\ Do as I do and train at home.
Which ever you choose, you have to focus on your goals. Maybe even try asking the biggest guy in there for some advice (if he really looks like he can give some). Who knows, maybe you will get a training partner.
Don't be discouraged!
Cheer up man...everyone has to start somewhere. My advice is: A\ Stop worrying about what the others are thinking and do your WO. B\ Do as I do and train at home.
Which ever you choose, you have to focus on your goals. Maybe even try asking the biggest guy in there for some advice (if he really looks like he can give some). Who knows, maybe you will get a training partner.
Don't be discouraged!
haha. dont be so hard on yourself.
nobody is mad at you for going to the gym! trust me!
its not like people are going to smile and wave to you though. people are usually more serious at the gym(imo) so its not like theyr going to be smiling while they are doing squats or something.
dont think so much about it! i personally like asians!
this whole thing is just in your mind. just forget about it and go do what you have to. "shut up and lift"
and dont use machines. use the free weights, bro! do you have knowledge of how to workout or knowledge on nutrition? i can help you out if you dont.
nobody is mad at you for going to the gym! trust me!
its not like people are going to smile and wave to you though. people are usually more serious at the gym(imo) so its not like theyr going to be smiling while they are doing squats or something.
dont think so much about it! i personally like asians!
this whole thing is just in your mind. just forget about it and go do what you have to. "shut up and lift"
and dont use machines. use the free weights, bro! do you have knowledge of how to workout or knowledge on nutrition? i can help you out if you dont.
I know a little bit about free weights but not much. It's another feeling of paranoia - I feel like everyone will be checking out how much I'm not putting on in comparison to them. Like right now, I bench around 85-100 and others are benching like 185.
To illicit the greatest of changes, you must create a paradigm shift...you have to change the way you view things, and this will change the way you feel and react...according to Stephen R. Covey.
So let me share my view and interpretation of how I would view these things that you fear:
Who cares?
So what?
Now, granted, these are not necessarily the correct way to view things, as if there WERE a correct way...
lmao
Well let me level with you -- I am in almost the same predicament as you. I train at a community college, in a pretty small weight room. I am a 5'11" Asian male who started training at around 140-150 lbs. I am constantly in the proximity of highly athletic and strong people, who aren't always the most modest people around. I won't say that I'm the only Asian dude in the weight room, but I'm probably in the vast pool of 2 that I've ever seen in a year and a half of constant training.
So, anyway, I don't let any of this get to me. Why? Because I've been humbled. I'm humbled because of the fact that I challenge myself and sometimes fail. Because I have been humbled, I don't feed off my pride and ego. The problem with not just big guys, but small guys like yourself and others I have known, is that they don't want to risk being seen...being humbled by someone else. Deny all you want, but that's really what it comes down to...ego, and pride. Without it, you wouldn't give a **** if others are judging you. You wouldn't care about petty things like how much weight the other guy does. All that matters is the weight you are doing beacuse you are there to work hard. Now let me say again that I was humbled, and still am constantly humbled, but the difference between me and some others who let that get in the way of their goals enough to where they just leave the weight room...is all the difference in the world.
You have to decide for yourself whether or not you're going to let your ego get in the way, or if you're going to power through and become something and someone better.
So let me share my view and interpretation of how I would view these things that you fear:
Who cares?
So what?
Now, granted, these are not necessarily the correct way to view things, as if there WERE a correct way...
lmao
Well let me level with you -- I am in almost the same predicament as you. I train at a community college, in a pretty small weight room. I am a 5'11" Asian male who started training at around 140-150 lbs. I am constantly in the proximity of highly athletic and strong people, who aren't always the most modest people around. I won't say that I'm the only Asian dude in the weight room, but I'm probably in the vast pool of 2 that I've ever seen in a year and a half of constant training.
So, anyway, I don't let any of this get to me. Why? Because I've been humbled. I'm humbled because of the fact that I challenge myself and sometimes fail. Because I have been humbled, I don't feed off my pride and ego. The problem with not just big guys, but small guys like yourself and others I have known, is that they don't want to risk being seen...being humbled by someone else. Deny all you want, but that's really what it comes down to...ego, and pride. Without it, you wouldn't give a **** if others are judging you. You wouldn't care about petty things like how much weight the other guy does. All that matters is the weight you are doing beacuse you are there to work hard. Now let me say again that I was humbled, and still am constantly humbled, but the difference between me and some others who let that get in the way of their goals enough to where they just leave the weight room...is all the difference in the world.
You have to decide for yourself whether or not you're going to let your ego get in the way, or if you're going to power through and become something and someone better.
OK. Develop the hand stand press up.
First practice your hand stand... work at it like a workout once a day.
then practice doing pressup against the wall.
then work on diong them free standing.
you will become the man, and it will give you confidence.
Also do the mental stuff, and screw them and all that other stuff. But i have found that just flat
"working for some respect" works too.
my offering of step up to the plate philosophy
FF
First practice your hand stand... work at it like a workout once a day.
then practice doing pressup against the wall.
then work on diong them free standing.
you will become the man, and it will give you confidence.
Also do the mental stuff, and screw them and all that other stuff. But i have found that just flat
"working for some respect" works too.
my offering of step up to the plate philosophy
FF
Yeah I think Lei really summed it up nice.
Who cares what these people think of you? The only person you need to impress is you.
Those big "muscle heads" didn't start out by benching 185 (trust me, we all started out with a bar and at best 25 on each side if we were lucky!)
Get out there and start hitting those weights. As far as the leg press, hell, leave it stacked with all those weights. Do some squats instead!
Who cares what these people think of you? The only person you need to impress is you.
Those big "muscle heads" didn't start out by benching 185 (trust me, we all started out with a bar and at best 25 on each side if we were lucky!)
Get out there and start hitting those weights. As far as the leg press, hell, leave it stacked with all those weights. Do some squats instead!
Prodigymytch,
I am reminded of when I was fairly new to the game. I was struggling to get a 135 bench...and my brain when it saw the bar with 2 plates...well that little voice would say "You're not gonna get this one!" So I was trying to sneak up on it...some of you know the look, the bar, on each side is a quarter, dime, nickel, and two 2.5's. So still 135, but the brain doesn't get overwhelmed with appearance! Anyway, I had it setup, and the gym had some big dudes (guys easily benching 300 and beyond) and I was trying to jack myself up telling myself "you're gonna have to do this, because no one will spot you." So while I'm standing there trying to get ready, a big dude comes over and offers a spot. I politely refused, and he said "Well I'll just watch, and I won't touch the bar unless you ask." OK.
Well, this isn't a fairy tale, I didn't get that 135 that night. But I did get a compliment from this BIG dude (you're strong for your size), some pointers (I think your grip is way too wide, try narrowing it down, and here's the diff between a wide and narrow grip), and an offer (if you ever need a spot, you ask any of us).
Don't be intimidated. Many of those LARGE folks are really down to earth and cool.
Now if you walk into the locker room and one of them is whaling on some lockers....uhm...you didn't really need to change anyways did you??!!
I am reminded of when I was fairly new to the game. I was struggling to get a 135 bench...and my brain when it saw the bar with 2 plates...well that little voice would say "You're not gonna get this one!" So I was trying to sneak up on it...some of you know the look, the bar, on each side is a quarter, dime, nickel, and two 2.5's. So still 135, but the brain doesn't get overwhelmed with appearance! Anyway, I had it setup, and the gym had some big dudes (guys easily benching 300 and beyond) and I was trying to jack myself up telling myself "you're gonna have to do this, because no one will spot you." So while I'm standing there trying to get ready, a big dude comes over and offers a spot. I politely refused, and he said "Well I'll just watch, and I won't touch the bar unless you ask." OK.
Well, this isn't a fairy tale, I didn't get that 135 that night. But I did get a compliment from this BIG dude (you're strong for your size), some pointers (I think your grip is way too wide, try narrowing it down, and here's the diff between a wide and narrow grip), and an offer (if you ever need a spot, you ask any of us).
Don't be intimidated. Many of those LARGE folks are really down to earth and cool.
Now if you walk into the locker room and one of them is whaling on some lockers....uhm...you didn't really need to change anyways did you??!!
Prodigymytch,
I think just about everyone has felt the same as you at some point. There's a feeling that everyone is watching you and you get self conscious which makes you shy away from doing anything you're unsure of. I know I've been there!
But trust me, most of the guys you'll come across in the gym are there because they love it, they love lifting and exercising and would love for you to join in too. I now go to the gym because I enjoy it, lifting heavy stuff has become my hobby so anyone who's also there lifting is someone I instantly have something in common with.
I've never once met anyone unhelpful or unfriendly in a gym once I've started talking to them.
I think just about everyone has felt the same as you at some point. There's a feeling that everyone is watching you and you get self conscious which makes you shy away from doing anything you're unsure of. I know I've been there!
But trust me, most of the guys you'll come across in the gym are there because they love it, they love lifting and exercising and would love for you to join in too. I now go to the gym because I enjoy it, lifting heavy stuff has become my hobby
so anyone who's also there lifting is someone I instantly have something in common with.I've never once met anyone unhelpful or unfriendly in a gym once I've started talking to them.
Thanks, you've all been very reassuring, and that's one comfort that I have in coming to this forum! I feel a little more at ease now. I'm actually going to see if my uncle can't give me a job there part time, maybe to get more familiar with everything and everyone.
Don't worry about it man. As you can tell from my screename I'm asian too and usually the only asian guy in the gym. I find that big huge guys at the gym are actually pretty nice people so I wouldn't worry about it.
I remember when I first started lifting on benhc I could barely do 95 and i only went halfway down to my chest... haha. We all start somewhere bro.
I remember when I first started lifting on benhc I could barely do 95 and i only went halfway down to my chest... haha. We all start somewhere bro.
Well, I don't know about everyone being nice where you're at, mytch. It's a fact that there are assholes everywhere, and just guessing at the disposition of others is irrelevant. I guess what I was trying to get at is that you shouldn't try to avoid being humbled, instead you should embrace it when appropriate. In other words, do what you need to get done, ie, do your freeweight exercises without fear instead of sticking to the machines, and when someone looks like they're showing off or the weight you have is too challenging for you, you just have to embrace it and accept it. These things happen. The people who never get off their high horses are the ones who never make progress.
105!! what a loser!!
some day you will be able to bench 170 like me!
if I can even bench that much. that's the lay down thing right?
hahahaha
See there AZN it happens here too!!
yer cool man. get over it. I just hope you're not staying away because of it.
FF