What to do about an unsupportive family?

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Elisianna

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I'm 19 years old and still very close to my family, though it seems that lately I've definitely been drifting further from them.

I decided it was time to make a change, I've been sticking to my strict diet, and I work out 6 days a week. My mom and my sister both want to lose weight too, but every time they try and start a diet, they are off it again, sometimes within hours. My mom says "I've starting to diet..." and at dinner time she is eating a cookie (a big cookie with 10 grams of fat all by itself!). My sister just blindly follows my mom, she's never had a lot of self esteem. (She sees me as pretty and skinnier than her, I'm a lot more confident so that makes her feel even worse).

The problem for me is, it almost seems like my mom is trying to do everything she possibly can to make me fat, and she gets MAD when I refuse things. At this point, it is SO easy for me to refuse everything and anything that is bad for me, I just don't WANT it anymore.

Last saturday she went out for KFC because we were having a picnic. I went in with her and waited in line behind her. My sister asked "Are you getting something?"
"Yeah, salad." (and I ended up eating it without that fatty dressing too... u.u). My mom was MAD. She rolled her eyes, grabbed her food and left me in the restaurant. While they were eating my mom kept saying how GOOD it was. (and I said how GOOD the food I had was... XD). My dad told me it's good for me to pig out every once in awhile, and I DO but I don't want to ever pig out on gross fried food.

Anyway, things like that happen CONSTANTLY. The food she makes for DINNER is bad and I have to hide the fact that I'm not eating it and having something else. It seems that the longer I keep on this regime the more and more she is starting to distance herself from me. She used to always ask me to go places with her, and now I don't even know where she is half the time and she goes with my sister. It's not only that, but everything I care about (like piano) don't matter at all to her anymore, in fact everything I do is pretty much just annoying her.

What is so wrong with trying to be healthy?! I'm sure other people have experienced things like this, what types of things do you do in these situations?
 
Your mom is just Jealous of you.
Its the same as when I stopped smoking. Some guys were jealous that I managed to quit, and they always offer men cigs and brag about how nice it is to smoke.

They do it cos they feel guilty about there habbits and was us to be the same as them.

She may not even mean to do it, and maybe if you have a sit-down chat with her, she may be more supportive. at the end of the day, its your body and your responsible for it, so if your mum isnt going to cook healthy for you then you need to cook your own meals. This may show your mum that what she does is unfair and start cooking healther meals for every1.

out of interest... are u trying to loose weight or are you at a weight your happy with and trying to improve health and fitness?
what sort of training do you do?
 
I'm trying to lose a little weight, I don't really have a number in my mind because I don't weigh myself anymore, I just see the results. I also just want to be a healthy and fit person, in school I was the kid who would run around the gym once and stop to cough and rest (I was always skinny though, so that wasn't an issue). I want to have a nice fit muscular body.

I do cardio 5 times a week, for 30-45 minutes except for the one day that I do HIIT. I weight train everyday, switching upper body and lower body. I am very happy with the muscle I am gaining, I love love loooove it, but I just wish the fat would come off quicker, but maybe it isn't cause I don't really have a lot. (I guess it's a last ten pounds kinda deal XD).

Thanks for the advice though, I really appreciate it. =)

(Good job on quitting smoking! =) )
 
holy crap can i relate to your story...my parents always have unhealthy dinners from either fast food places or they wanna go out to restaurants...and if i ask to not go or eat my own healthy meal, they get pissed off and start askin if i still want to be part of the family (apparently since im not eating dinner with them anymore im not part of the family), but what i do is seriously just ignore them and eat wat i choose, im only 15 so ill be living with them for a few more years, so i wanna get my point across now that i wont be stuffing my face just because they want to...
 
I know this may be a lame question, but I came from a family that liked to put it "all out on the table" so to speak. Is there any way you can orchestrate a heart to heart with her sometime? Seems like even if it were a negative conversation at least you could express your side of things. Seems like if things keep going this way the outcome won't be good. Can't hurt?
 
Thats a good idea from sparrow.
Elisianna - beautiful name by the way. I'd like to know what happens when u talk to the family. do u have time to write up your typical daily food intake
 
Watching your weight go up and down is always a difficult thing to deal with. I've learned that we have toxins in our body (from food, the air, etc...) and our body handles these toxins by surrounding them with fat.

There is a cleanse that will remove these toxins and the fat associated with it as well. It's called Isagenix and it's worked wonders for me and for many other people.

It's a simple and amazing product. I'm trying to let everyone know about it! The info is in my signature and I'm available for any questions, if you wish.
 
Well, I sort of had a talk with my mom XD. I had to be as non threatening as possible so that she wouldn't get mad. =P

She doesn't really always have the time to pick something healthy for everybody, and since the majority of the family doesn't want to eat she has to please them too. That's fine. I still don't know why she has to get mad if I don't eat the food with everybody else, but she did say that she doesn't really think I need to worry a lot about how much weight I'm losing. She said "Sure, you've got a little bit of weight you COULD lose, but it's not a big deal."

And you know how sometimes you get annoyed when you see a bit of yourself in somebody else? I'm guessing that is an issue with her as well. Several years ago her and my dad went on Body for Life. My mom lost 55 lbs and looked good! At that time, she was apparently a "freak" like I was about eating right and working out. Yesterday a commercial was on talking about a fast food hamburger, I thought it sounded disgusting, and I remember that she used to as well. XD She ended up stopping the healthy eating and working out those years ago because my dad started working more, and we all stopped going to the gym.

I think she also might be a little jealous, maybe she misses eating the way she used to, and she figures that now she really can't. She's starting to sound defeated, saying that she will ALWAYS be fat.

manofkent - You asked for my daily food intake XD. Well I'll try and remember what I eat on a normal day.

7.30 - Kashi go lean cereal. (Only a little cause that stuff is NASTY). Some vegetables and/or fruit (Sometimes I'll have shredded wheat or something instead XD. I have to be quick though, cause I work at 8:00 u.u)

10.30 - Lot's of vegetable and whatever protein I could get my hands on. (Cottage cheese, chicken...)

1.00 - A sandwhich with either chicken or turkey. Lots and lots of vegetables on it.

4.00 - Rice or noodles, lots of vegetables and some chicken. (I recently switched from having another sandwich to this.)

6.00 - Varies a lot. I USUALY eat what my mom makes, but cut out the parts that aren't good. Always a salad, and then whatever meat she made, unless it's really fatty I'll try and find some other protein for myself. Fruit.

8.00 - This is usually after my weight training so I have a protein shake (at this point I'm too lazy to find something to eat...). I sometimes eat it with some vegetable or maybe some whole wheat bread.
 
Hi Elisianna
Very pretty name, I agree. Your diet is not too bad at all. I would increase your protein intake at breakfast though. As far as your other issues, have you tried to encourage your mom to go to the gym with you or start to eat healthy again ? Remind her of good she felt and looked when she lost all her weight back then. If she gets defensive, just remind her that you love her and you are only trying to be of help. Maybe she just needs that little push.
 
hey

haha try dealing with my italian family always trying to shove food down my throat. good luck with your diet and stuff i really suck with mine heh.
 
i totally know what you mean... whenever i try to talk nutrition to my parents they get out a bag of chips. i kind of do worry about them too... i mean my dad runs marathons and has a huge gut...
 
Elisianna, you rock. Good menu (could use some tweaking, but it's pretty darn good girl!). I am so proud of you for talking to your mom. That takes a lot of guts to put it all out there.

I'm sure things will get easier, but you'll have to remain that much more dedicated to eating well and working out responsibly. Try to encourage your mom to go through this process with you. Or perhaps you can cook dinner for everyone 1-2 times per week.

I agree with everyone else when they say your mom is most likely frustrated and a tad bit jealous. I am Italian and my family doesn't get the whole healthy eating and portion control theory :)

I'm also a vegetarian so I constantly get people telling me I should eat meat and how good it is and yada yada yada.

I also used to smoke (years and years ago) and to this day my family trys to tempt me with cigarettes. I just have to be strong and surround myself with as many positive people as possible... while trying to help those around me get healthier.

Just wanted to say I understand and that I am really proud of you for even talking to your mom.
 
If your mom was into fitness and eating healthy in the past maybe you can talk her into working out and eating healthy with you. You could even throw a little competition in there...
My mom also lost a lot of lbs. a few years ago and then she gained them all back. When I came home for the summer about a month a half ago I was afraid that she was not going to be cooking the healthy food that I wanted to eat so I made up a little challenge. I told her to join me into being more healthy by eating well and exercising and reminded her of how good she looked when she had lost the lbs. I threw in a bet, whoever looses less lbs. than the other by the end of the summer would have to treat the other one to dinner in a fancy restaurant.
She was all up for it and now we are both exercising and eating healthier meals together and of course we are competing against each other but in a fun way.

So maybe you could try this with your mom, just sit down with her and remind her of how good she looked when she lost weight and bet on who can eat more healthy in one week or something like that.

Good luck with your goals!
 
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