In serious need of advice... what am I doing wrong?

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Angelkae

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I am just so bummed.


I go to the gym at least 4 days a week, usually 5 days a week. My friends go an average of 3 days a week. This week, they only went yesterday.


I eat some junk, but they eat it all the time (as a matter of fact, I am usually with them when I end up eating the junk... if I hear "c'mon, have a scoop of this ice cream" again I may shove the scooper down someone's throat!). But somehow, they are losing more weight than me.


I seriously doubt I'm eating too few calories. I get lots of cardio, although this week and part of last week (since no one would go to the gym with me), I have been doing classes which are basically weight training. I am not lazy. I take care of my 2 kids during the day, so it's not like I can sleep all day.


What am I doing wrong? I need help, this is really getting to me. I was down to 129 on 03/13 and on track to meet my short term goal, but then the tornado hit and I stress ate for a week (plus the red cross brought junk... white bread everything, and sweets to boot). I am now back up to 133 so there's no way I can hit my goal of 125 by April 1st.


I think it would be easier to keep a clean diet if I ate the same thing every day, or even every meal; but I don't know what would be healthy for a setup like that. Any advice about that?


I feel like they look so great despite what they're doing, in their cute little yoga tops and matchy matchy eveything; and I look horrible even though I am trying to do everything I know how to do! I don't even want to look in the mirror anymore. My whole body looks lumpy and gross.


Here is the link to my diary... please let me know what I should change!
http://www.fitness.com/forum/showthread.php?t=10035&page=2


It just really kills me to feel like I'm trying so hard and acually making less progress than people who are hardly doing anything. I could really use some input here.


I should add that I am 23, 5'4", and about 133 pounds. About 6 weeks ago, my trainer measured my body fat using a bio-impedence device and told me that my body fat was about 21.4%. I don't know how correct that is. I have a lot of visible fat on my abdomen, and am soft in pretty much all other areas. Hope that helps.
 
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I didn't read your other post. But instead wanted to post about some things you mentioned above. First, you cannot compare yourself to your friends. I know it's hard. But you have to find something about you that you love. Do you think they are happy all the time and have no care in the world? Nope :)

Look focus on you. And you have to get serious. Eating the junk food is not helping you, right? So there's problem number 1. If you think getting on a menu will help then do it. I pretty much eat the same 20 or so foods all the time. Get a plan and make it something you can be happy about. You can still have a scoop of ice cream... and not feel guilty about it.

Women fall into a viscious cycle. They feel like crap about their body. Then they get motivated to lose the weight. They start eating well and working out. Then one thing gets messed up. They get upset with themselves and feel like they failed. Then they stop working out and eating well. Then they feel like a bigger failure for quitting. Then they settle for their body. They a few days/weeks/months later thet get motivated to lose weight... and so the circle starts again.

Break the circle. What is guilt doing for you? Is it working for you? No. :) So get yourself on a plan. Be sure you are eating enough calories and be sure you are working out properly.

If your trainer told you you have a body fat % of 21.4 then you cn rest assured you are somewhere in that range. That's not a bad range at all. To be honest it's good. So most of your focus needs to be on a healthy menu and strength training. Get a plan.

You are not obese. You are not chunky nor do you have 100 pounds to lose. You simply have a body that others would LOVE to have. So be proud of that. Get your plan. Start strength training the right way (not sure if you are or not since you didn't post). Eat a kick butt menu. And worry about no one but you.

If it helps... make new friends. Make friends at the gym. Make friends who are interested in helping you succeed. Good luck.
 
Everyones body is different. Some people can eat anything and everything and not gain a pound, but that doesnt mean that they are "healthier" than you. This is why I reccomend basing progress on the mirror, not the scale. The scale should only be looked at once in awhile.
You also just went through a very stressful time. That combined with eating the food you had available, could cause a few pounds to be gained. That doesnt mean anything though, you can shed those pounds soon enough, once life gets back to normal. Adapt and overcome.
Isnt always friends that are the worst problems of our goals? C'mon cant you eat this once, great friends huh? Dont secumb to the pressure. I let people like this know, hey this is what I am doing, you can do whatever you want.
 
Man, I'll be jumping for joy when my body fat gets down to 21.4%. I've seen your pics too, you look great! I know how you feel though, don't be discouraged. Keep going and eat as clean as possible. Good luck.
 
Trainer Lynn- Thanks for the good advice. Instead of getting discouraged, I'm just going to buckle down and get serious about my diet.

One question though (this question is for everyone though)- what do I do when invited over to other people's houses? We eat with friends and family 2, maybe 3 times a week! I don't know how to handle it. Do I bring my own food?

Tonymcclellan- You are so right... "great friends, huh"? Perhaps it's just becasue I've been feeling down but my usual "check your progress in the mirror" sance isn't working right now. But I will, adapt and overcome. I think I've found my new mantra. Thanks. :)

Lisa_m- Thanks for the compliment. To top it all off, last night my hubby said (he said it with a smile, he thought it was a good compliment), "Man, your arms are getting big!" So it's good to hear from someone that I'm not the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man OR the Incredible Hulk, lol!
 
Thats what I did. After a few times, they will realize and ask what you want. Thats what my wifes family did. They were vegetarians first off, well they were :) ...but now they make me skinless chicken breast and salmon fillets. Just let em know.
 
Yeah looking at some of your diary seems that diet may be the culprit. You do need to find a more targeted diet for your needs. Maybe making a meal plan for yourself to stick to for the next two weeks would help? Also keeping track of what you eat is beyond important. Especially those nibble heres and theres. Try using fitday.com or crosstrainer
Trainer lynn pretty much said it all about how to look at things.

If you want help with a meal plan then list everything in detail you have access to and like. I can try and come up with some ideas for you.
 
theleip said:
If you want help with a meal plan then list everything in detail you have access to and like. I can try and come up with some ideas for you.
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I like most vegetables, except for tomatoes (cooked they are fine, just not a lot of them).

I can eat fruits but for some reason I never buy them and when I do I avoid them. I'd say 1/2 of the fruits I buy go to waste. Any advice on how to get more fruit in my diet would be good. maybe if I chopped it all up and made a big fruit salad or something...

I eat a lot of chicken, beef is good, fish is good occasionally. I do not like pork... generally the idea of it makes me ill (eating a dirty pig and all... I know it's the same as eating a dirty cow, dirty chicken, etc but the pig gets me... probably because of the bible).

I don't like white bread. I always choose wheat over white. I've tried brown rice, but it tasted sort of... crunchy. I'm not sure if I prepared it wrong or if that's the way it goes. I'd like to try quinoa, but can't find it at the local grocery stores.

I like beans, black beans and dark red kidney beans are my favorites. I always have them in the cupboard.

I am on a budget, so I think anything cheap is worth trying.

Do you think the bigger problems in my diet were the junk food, (which was obvious to me but i just needed someone to tell me to snap me out of it), or is there something else I'm missing?
 
Here are my tips for maintaining a good diet (it's so hard to resist temptation sometimes, isn't it?):

- I work at an office and prepare the food I eat the night before, so that there's no guesswork involved. That way, I'm always sure to have 2 balanced snacks and a lunch at my fingertips during the eight hours that I'm at my desk. I also plan my week's worth of dinners before going to the grocery store so that I know exactly what ingredients to buy, and I'm never tempted to splurge because I'm in a pinch.

- Carry a water bottle with you everywhere (I have one of those 32 oz ones). Nothing keeps your appetite in check like water...

- Buy an assortment of enough RAW veggies (baby carrots, cucumbers, cherry tomatoes, celery, brocolli, cauliflour, etc.) to last you between trips to the grocery store. Whenever you start feeling those hunger-pangs, fill yourself up. It's impossible to eat too much of the stuff.

- Start eating as much raw, unprocessed food as possible. After just a little while, you'll be surprised by how your palate will adapt, and become so much more tuned to subtle flavors. You'll start to hate the idea of drenching salad in dressing or putting butter on your mashed potatoes. Just the idea of eating fast food/junk food will make your stomach churn. Believe me. :)
 
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Just the idea of eating fast food/junk food will make your stomach churn. Believe me. :)
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I agree with that completely. You couldn't force a mcdonalds hamburger down my throat now.

The junk food has to go sweetie. Trust me that there are ways to still get full and sweets the right way.

So lets work on you a meal plan to stick to for two weeks. Of course you can vary this a little but this is a basic guide. I am going to give you a bunch of dishes and then some random "if i don't put somethig in my mouth right now i am going to die" snacks.

Special things to buy...
Tasteless Whey (any grocery store has them, try and get lowest fat and carbs you can because this is mainly for protien only)
Lite Wheat bread-This will allow you to have a little more bread, little less calories, but still plenty of goodness. (any grocery store)
Reduced Fat Peanut Butter-Though they are good fats, you still don't want to get so much, so grab a low fat one. (any grocery store)
Egg Whites-NOT EGG BEATERS, just whole 100% egg whites. (any grocery store)
Smart Balance "butter"-This stuff taste so good and has 5 calories
Lots of Low Fat Chicken Breasts.....LOTS! Try and get the lowest fat chicken you can cause you will be eating alot of it.

Meals-Morning time meals (this are meals highest in carbs though you will still have the same amount of calories in all day long meals, we dont eat more in the morning so much as just different)

1-Plain Oatmeal (sprinkle some cinnimon and a little teaspoon of peanut butter(reduced fat) in there) and skim choc milk with tasteless whey protien scoop.
2-Wheat Banana Sandwhich with Peanut Butter (reduced fat) and skim choc milk with tasteless whey protien scoop.
3-Wheat Banana Almond whey pancakes-Get some wheat pancake mix, follow directions (thought use skim milk and no oil and egg whites) and add half cup almonds, two scoops of whey and one whole banana. Top with a little fruit to when done. You can make 6 medium pancakes so save some for following days.
4-Cheese Omelette (1 whole egg to 3 eggs whites) and two slices of lite wheat toast with sugar free jelly or small serving of plain grits with smart balance "butter"

Afternoon-Little more focus on protien over carbs, but still getting starchy carbs.

1-Whole Wheat turkey sandwhich with lettuce,light mayo and fat free cheese
2-Chili with 4 light restraunt style tostitos chips (here is a basic recipe as it should be home made and it will last you ...i mean days and days)

half yellow onion chopped
4 celery stalks chopped
1/3 garlic bulb finley chopped
Throw that into a deep skillet with water (fully covering veggies),10 shakes of tabasco, about a tablespoon of chilli pepper, couple shakes of salt and pepper.
Cook on high for about 4 minutes. Add 1 pound of nickle sized rolled 96% ground beef. Put the top on stiring some until the meat is cooked through.
Transfer this into a pot with 3 can of light red kidney beans, 2 cans of tomato paste, 1 chopped tomato and 4 sec squeeze of ketchup. Add 7 more shkes of tabasco, and almost of tablesoon of chilli pepper. Stir and then add water to you achieve your desired consentisy. I like my a little more sauce and less thin. Cook maybe for 7 more mins or until beans are how you like it and bam done. This is a big huge pot of chili and here are the stats for serving (you get roughly 10 servings)
cal=225
carb=22
Pro=15
fat= 1.3

3-Almond Honey chicken with sweet potatoes (cook chicken in deep skillet with nothing but filled with water. When chicken is done dump out water, cover chicken in a little honey and almonds and brown.
4-Hamburger on whole wheat lite bun with 2% skim milk cheese and whole dill pickle.
5-Orange Chicken with fruit salad-Use orange juice and orange slices to flavor chicken and put it beside a great assorted fruit salad
6-Soy Chicken with Brown rice-Slow cooked rice (take about 45-60 mins, rice should be sticky and soft. follow direction on bag to a exact tee!) Cook chicken in a Soy/Worchester Flavor mixing with mater and ground pepper.
7-Tuna salad-Light mayo, celery, pickle, and shake of pepper

Night-Largely protien with fiberous carbs only (veggies)
1-Almond chicken salad -with slight drizzle of honeyon bed of lettuce,and well whatever else you like with a salad.
2-Blacken Cajun Salmon-Use mesquite seasoning and cajun spices and serve with a side of "buttered" asparugus and Squash
3-Meatloaf-(96% lean ground beef, chopped celery/tomatos/onions, 3 egg
whites and tablespoon of brown sugar, teaspoon of salt) all mixed together within meat, put in loaf pan and bake till cooked through. Top with ketchup.
4-Lemon Pepper chicken-Chicken season with lemon pepper and side with corn on the cob and mini salad.
5-Stir Fry Chicken-Chicken stir fry (use 1 teaspoon of peanut oil) mixed with green pepper, squash, mushroom, basically whatever just throw it all in there with a little "butter" and seasoning salt.
6-"Buttered" Flonder with Cocktail sauce-Serve with a side of Mixed veggies.
7-Cheese Chicken-Cut breast in half and stuf with various low fat/non fat cheeses-side with salad

Snacks-
-Oranges and green tea (decaf)
-carrot sticks and cottage cheese low or non fat
-peanut butter thin on one slice of lite wheat toast
-Small fruit salad
-Any veggie, any time
-Light tortio chips with salsa
-Protien shakes low in carbs
-small tuna lettuce wrap
-Dill pickels
-half a rice cake
-celery with peanut butter and rasians
-real applesauce


Now this may all seem like a lot of work but its not cause remember the joy of bulk cooking. Cook all your hamburgers one day. Cook alot of your chicken one day. Cut up all your veggies one day. There is food bags and tupperware for a reason, totally use it for your advantage. I started doing all this when i worked 12-14 hour days at a bar with no real break, just enough time to nibble while working. It can be done i promise. Now here using these items is a whole meal for a day plan.

Meal 1-Plain Oatmeal (sprinkle some cinnimon and a little teaspoon of peanut butter(reduced fat) in there) and skim choc milk with tasteless whey protien scoop.
Meal 2-Tuna salad wrap-Light mayo, celery, pickle, and shake of pepper on a wrap
Meal 3-Hamburger on whole wheat lite bun with 2% skim milk cheese and whole dill pickle.
Meal 4-Blacken Cajun Salmon-Use mesquite seasoning and cajun spices and serve with a side of "buttered" asparugus and Squash
Meal 5-Celery with peanut butter and rasians and whey protien in Skim Milk
Late night Snack-Any veggie, any time!


Next day..
Meal 1-Wheat Banana Sandwhich with Peanut Butter (reduced fat) and skim choc milk with tasteless whey protien scoop.
Meal 2-Chili with 4 light restraunt style tostitos chips
Meal 3-Orange Chicken with fruit salad
Meal 4--Meatloaf
Meal 5--Almond chicken salad
Snack--small tuna lettuce wrap

This should get you started, hope it helps.
 
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WOW leip, thanks for all the info. You're great.

I can't wait to start your plan and recipes.

I already have the lite wheat bread, egg whites, smart balance butter and oil, and chicken breast.

Is chai as good as green tea? It's decaf.
 
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you are welcome:)

Now remember to take each day by day on what you are doing. Days you aren't working out you wont need as much starchy carbs so substitue potatoes for pile of veggies kind of thing. Just judge and gage kind of thing, you will get a hang of it.

While chai isn't bad, green tea is just so good for you, is the best tea for weight loss, linked to fighting off cancer cells, and filled with antioxidents. I personally try to get in a least two cups a day.
 
theleip said:
you are welcome:)

Now remember to take each day by day on what you are doing. Days you aren't working out you wont need as much starchy carbs so substitue potatoes for pile of veggies kind of thing. Just judge and gage kind of thing, you will get a hang of it.

While chai isn't bad, green tea is just so good for you, is the best tea for weight loss, linked to fighting off cancer cells, and filled with antioxidents. I personally try to get in a least two cups a day.
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Thanks, my next box of tea wil be green tea! :)
 
theleip, sorry to bud in on this thread, I was just wondering your opinion of white tea? I love chai and green tea and most other teas actually. I have some white tea that my mother-in-law bought me. What white tea is...I have no idea! I usually only buy green tea, but my MIL buys teas for gifts for me and they are always something unusual or special :)
 
White tea is pretty much the same as green tea, even maybe a little better for you. However its just so rare in america being its mainly found in china only or is expensive here so thats why i recommend the use od green tea. But yeah drink away some white tea.
 
I wanted to that you all again for your advice. That's to my new eating plan I have really gotten past the plateau and lost a lot of water weight from the other week's stress eating. I weighed in this morning at 128, so I could possibly get to my goal of 125 by april 1st (which is this saturday).

Thanks again!
 
Either way you're VERY close and you've been losing weight the right way so it's going to stay off. That's awesome!
 
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