Marsia's Diary

[Cate]

Soaking in the hot tub sounds like a lovely way to wind down. Punk rock will probably be good therapy for K, especially if she bangs out a few songs of her own.
I tried finding photos of that red and black skink online. Do you know what he's called? Your wildlife sounds really interesting. Hopefully, he has settled down & you can get a good look.

 

[Marsia]

Skink are such marvellous creatures! Just fascinating to watch.
Eating less meat would probably be a good thing for most people. Just make sure to keep an eye on your protein: even high-protein plants tend to have more carbs and less protein than meat so you and K may need larger portions than you'd think.

Thanks Llama, I think I'll use MFP to be sure about protein. I'll probably supplement with protein powder because we don't do well with too many beans. They are hard on K's digestion, even if I soak them overnight. I have been thinking about making my own tofu, though it's pretty inexpensive, so maybe I'll just buy it. We have such interesting, colorful skinks here. The little green ones turn brown to camouflage themselves, and all of them have so much curiosity about us, but then they panic if we forget and walk toward them. They have such funny ways.

I'm so glad you took the day to just relax and enjoy things. You always sound like you have the best outings!
Very cool that K is in a punk band--I used to love punk shows as a teen--it really helped me cope with a lot of my angst stuff.

Thanks Liza. We're so lucky to live somewhere with so much good nature. That's great you were into punk, too. I find it too overwhelming to listen to, but I can see how it would be really therapeutic for a teen.

Soaking in the hot tub sounds like a lovely way to wind down. Punk rock will probably be good therapy for K, especially if she bangs out a few songs of her own.
I tried finding photos of that red and black skink online. Do you know what he's called? Your wildlife sounds really interesting. Hopefully, he has settled down & you can get a good look.

K met with the bassist and they wrote their first song together and then went to band practice and played around with the melody and improvised a bunch. K loved that. We saw the skink another day, too, but he was under the house, so we only got a blurry pic. He is a broad head skink like this but much bigger: https://strictlyreptiles.tv/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/Broad-Head-Skink_000_lg-768x768.jpg .

Got a bunch done today. Helped K with the lawn mowing because the back yard grew like crazy. Hauled a bunch of branches to the edges of the property and did a lot of dishes and a made a batch of granola. It really helps thinking of this as the last move! I have motivation back. Thanks!!

 

[Cate]

I don't do well with beans either & ordered some more protein powder last night. We eat tofu regularly these days after getting some for C, who is vegetarian. It is quite inexpensive.
Yay for K writing songs with the bassist. It will give her that extra chance to express herself.
That skink is very cute. I love skinks. Here, they drop their tails if they get frightened.

It really helps thinking of this as the last move! I have motivation back. Thanks!!

That's excellent! xoxo

 

[Llama]

I'll probably supplement with protein powder because we don't do well with too many beans. They are hard on K's digestion, even if I soak them overnight.

Increased beans often take a while to get used to and some people never do. Mixing pulses with animal protein like cheese, eggs, or meat like you mentioned is also an excellent way to reduce your meat consumption while being kind to your gi tract.

 

[Marsia]

Thanks Llama and Cate. We had lizards in CA who dropped their tails if caught. I am going to take it easier on the beans and do more tofu for now, I think, and I researched and found a nice protein powder that is high in iron, too. Also I looked up symptoms and wonder if K could be getting an ulcer. I had one as a kid, and the symptoms sound similar. So I am going to try a mild diet with lots of aloe vera juice and all the things for curing ulcers and see if her symptoms disappear because we cured mine naturally when I was a kid. She tends to bottle up stress without knowing it. Also she is dizzy and lower energy so we got Gatorade in case she is low on electrolytes, but I hate her having all that sugar. Does anyone know of a good source of lots of electrolytes that isn't sugary? If her symptoms don't clear up, we'll go see the doctor, but they are low grade symptoms that just keep recurring, so I am just keeping an eye on them and trying the obvious things for now. Being in a band again is going to be so good for her. I am really happy!

Yesterday was so good exercise-wise. I got so much of the house organized and clean and could barely move by the end of the night. I have to keep myself from pulling everything we won't need immediately out of every drawer, and just pack what is already out so this isn't chaos. We got a call out of the blue from a policeman who was out of state about something in the child welfare report that happened out of state. It was just a little over a year since we reported this, so I was cautious whether this was an actual policeman or not, since mediation is coming up, and this is such weird timing. It was a policeman, and he was very kind and supportive. But these sorts of things are unsettling, and I just can't wait for this to be past us. Other than that we had a really good day. K got her final cumulative grade point average, and it is excellent!

 

[Llama]

Does anyone know of a good source of lots of electrolytes that isn't sugary?

Soup. But unless she's sweating a lot (due to high heat and/or large amounts of exercise) or eating very little/very low-sodium she should be getting plenty of electrolytes from food.

 

[Cate]

M, I buy a no-sugar electrolyte powder from iHerb. It's California Gold Nutrition, Sport, Electrolyte Powder, Mixed Berry, 10.8 oz (306 g) & you only use a little bit. It stops me from getting cramps. I also buy my unflavoured protein powder from them in the same brand.
That call would have been disconcerting. You will get through this, M but it would be lovely to fast forward to that time xoxo

 

[Marsia]

Soup. But unless she's sweating a lot (due to high heat and/or large amounts of exercise) or eating very little/very low-sodium she should be getting plenty of electrolytes from food.

We sweat profusely here, and soup is a great idea. The gatorade really helped with cramps, so I think that solved one problem.

M, I buy a no-sugar electrolyte powder from iHerb. It's California Gold Nutrition, Sport, Electrolyte Powder, Mixed Berry, 10.8 oz (306 g) & you only use a little bit. It stops me from getting cramps. I also buy my unflavoured protein powder from them in the same brand.
That call would have been disconcerting. You will get through this, M but it would be lovely to fast forward to that time xoxo

I just put this on my grocery list. Thanks so much Cate! The call really made me worry if J got a friend to pretend to be a policeman, but from the email it does look legit. Today I had a realtor over who considers our house to be an "as is" sale because it is a big house near really super upscale houses, and if I could sink just a little more money into the house (update bathrooms, change out light fixtures, etc.) this house could be in that price range when we went to sell it, but I can't think too hard about that. It's probably not possible. As I was showing the house, I got an email that J's lawyer postponed the mediation, so this will be pushed back a second time. The realtor wants me to paint the rooms that I haven't painted yet my nice neutral green colors, so I have my work cut out for me - there are things like a 2 story staircase where it's going to be so hard to get the wall that has the staircase below it. She is right though. The things I didn't update really need it. Anyway, she'll send me good info on selling the house that will help for mediation decisions, and mediation will determine how to sell the house. Everything's complicated and intertwined, so I just need to take things one day at a time.

 

[Cate]

Oh, M that all sounds so hard. You poor thing. Your house seems so beautiful. I'm sure someone will fall in love with it without you needing to do much at all. Most people like to put their own stamp on things.

 

[Marsia]

Oh, M that all sounds so hard. You poor thing. Your house seems so beautiful. I'm sure someone will fall in love with it without you needing to do much at all. Most people like to put their own stamp on things.

Thanks Cate! I am not sure how I feel about things. I think I'll know a lot more after talking with my attorneys. I am still in limbo, but am getting more information, and that does help me to not feel so adrift. It's a really nice house, it's just that the bathrooms are dated and the kitchen appliances and light fixtures are very old. It's got really great things about it, too, like a wall of windows overlooking the pine forest, so I'm not worried. It's just that it would be so nice to remodel a few inexpensive things and have a bit of extra money that will be really hard to come by later. I think the main thing is that so much depends on J being reasonable, and that is probably not going to happen, so I think I have good work arounds, but I don't exactly know the details of how to implement those yet. So more limbo, but also I am less in the dark than before, so sort of good overall, I think.

We took the long walk on the beach this afternoon almost to the river and there was a breeze and beautiful clouds that did that sunburst thing with the sun setting behind them. There were so many sandpipers, skeltons of horseshoe crabs, and a lot of washed up jellyfish this time. It was so nice walking until we were tired. I feel much more centered now. I think I'll meditate some more before bed. I hate having people like upscale realtors over when I am in the middle of packing and things aren't all neat and tidy. I got worn out being worried about having the realtor over, but she was really nice and gracious. It'll be nice now not to have to worry about how tidy the house is though, and I can just paint and pack.

 

[Llama]

It's such a shame that bathrooms and light fixtures make more of a difference to the price of a house than they cost to fix. Especially with fancy houses when whoever buys them is likely to rip out the affordable solution and redo things anyway and it's such a waste of resources! That's not criticism of you, by the way: you're just doing what you need to get through things. It's the system that's stupid.

 

[Emilyrose]

K got her final cumulative grade point average, and it is excellent!

And well done to her mother for helping her get there! Delighted for you both.

Sorry to hear the realtor visit was stressful but try to keep your spirits up as much as you can. One day at a time. x

 

[liza3]

We took the long walk on the beach this afternoon almost to the river and there was a breeze and beautiful clouds that did that sunburst thing with the sun setting behind them. There were so many sandpipers, skeltons of horseshoe crabs, and a lot of washed up jellyfish this time. It was so nice walking until we were tired

I always love the sound of your walks and am so glad you take that time to be out in nature to replenish yourself.

 

[Marsia]

It's such a shame that bathrooms and light fixtures make more of a difference to the price of a house than they cost to fix. Especially with fancy houses when whoever buys them is likely to rip out the affordable solution and redo things anyway and it's such a waste of resources! That's not criticism of you, by the way: you're just doing what you need to get through things. It's the system that's stupid.

It's annoying how people don't have a vision of what a house could be (and a lot of people looking for fancy houses want turn-key), but it also means I got our CA house which was in paradise and could fix it up so that we have this kind of money now. That house made people come out of it with huge, shocked eyes looking like stunned zombies. It was so much work, but it was also two houses in one in the redwoods in a really expensive place where normally we could not have bought both a house for my mom and one for us. I sometimes think if times were better I would study to be a landlord who puts inexpensive houses on the market as rent to buy properties so poor people could afford starter homes. I really love bringing a house back to being its beautiful self, and it would be so cool to buck the system and make an economic model where poor people could get ahead. If it worked, I'd publish a book on how to do it. But then again, it might have to be an expensive hobby because houses like that could become money pits if you didn't really, really know what you were doing.

And well done to her mother for helping her get there! Delighted for you both.

Sorry to hear the realtor visit was stressful but try to keep your spirits up as much as you can. One day at a time. x

Thanks Em! I am ok with the realtor being politely blunt with me about the house's potential. It's definitely its own distinct culture that is rather tough and matter of fact, but has a polite surface veneer. I find it rather interesting. It's different enough to feel like another country compared to being in California. It's definitely a one day at a time scenario here. I am always really impatient to know how things are going to work out so I can plan better, but there is just no knowing in this instance, and I have to be careful not to drive myself nuts over it!

I always love the sound of your walks and am so glad you take that time to be out in nature to replenish yourself.

Thanks Liza, I have to remember to do this, so thanks for that!

I got a lot done yesterday. I packed up the 22 boxes of my mom's beads and broke down the 4 big baker shelves they were on, got some peppers roasted, and had a nice long talk with K before she went out with her friend to go hear music. We also figured out what paint we have left and decided how to paint the rooms in neutral colors and picked out inexpensive lighting for the places that need it most in case we do have the money for it. She is really good at picking out things once she asks a ton of questions about a style of a house or a fashion movement or whatever. I think she could be a natural designer. I also realized that the policeman who called me after a year probably also called J, so the delay in mediation might have been him thinking that I am trying to get him arrested in another state. That was such horrible timing. I wonder if I should write to J and tell him that wasn't me doing anything weird, but every time I have to interact with him is a gamble because he doesn't want to resolve things, and it's hard to tell if he will ever cooperate or if he just wants drama. I am getting used to this and will just let the process take its course, I think. Now that K has a nice little social circle, living here is better and I can just fix up the house as much as possible and go with the flow. Hopefully by then the silly feds will lower interest rates so people's houses sell again. So the delay may end up being a really good thing, who knows!

 

[Llama]

Your first thought with that phonecall was also that it might be J up to no good. If he's reasonable about things he'll realize right away that you don't do shit like that and if he isn't reasonable YOU writing/calling will probably only make things worse.

 

[liza3]

but it also means I got our CA house which was in paradise and could fix it up so that we have this kind of money now.

And that skill you have will come in handy when buying your next place too--hopefully you can get a good deal for your next place that you can fix up to be your own as well. It sounds like you really enjoy that so that should work out really well!

Now that K has a nice little social circle, living here is better and I can just fix up the house as much as possible and go with the flow. Hopefully by then the silly feds will lower interest rates so people's houses sell again. So the delay may end up being a really good thing, who knows!

That all sounds really good!

 

[Cate]

Now that K has a nice little social circle, living here is better and I can just fix up the house as much as possible and go with the flow.

That sounds like such a good idea & doing whatever you can in preparation for selling but also taking walks & being kind to yourselves along the way is a good thing. Will you keep the beads, M or sell them?

 

[Emilyrose]

22 boxes of your mom's beads? Hmm, that sounds interesting! Are they something that can be sold? Are they like beads for making jewellery? I have a lot of questions, lol!

 

[Marsia]

Your first thought with that phonecall was also that it might be J up to no good. If he's reasonable about things he'll realize right away that you don't do shit like that and if he isn't reasonable YOU writing/calling will probably only make things worse.

Thanks Llama, I took your advice and I feel much more peaceful not trying to justify anything. I have been thinking about how his lawyers cancelled the mediation without even an explanation, and it seems like I should not give J any information either and just wait until I meet with my lawyers to see how to resolve this. At this point I think that we will have to use the law to force his hand, and I am really grateful that it's obvious that he broke the law in a lot of different ways.

And that skill you have will come in handy when buying your next place too--hopefully you can get a good deal for your next place that you can fix up to be your own as well. It sounds like you really enjoy that so that should work out really well!

Thanks Liza! I really like this and started looking at potential houses as fun projects again.

That sounds like such a good idea & doing whatever you can in preparation for selling but also taking walks & being kind to yourselves along the way is a good thing. Will you keep the beads, M or sell them?

Thanks Cate - good to be reminded to take walks and things! We had unpacked the beads with the intention of selling them, but every box K looked in, she couldn't bring herself to sell things, so she wants to keep them all and decide when there is more time. She loves all the treasures from her grandmother.

22 boxes of your mom's beads? Hmm, that sounds interesting! Are they something that can be sold? Are they like beads for making jewellery? I have a lot of questions, lol!

My mom was a hoarder, and she bought oodles of beads for making jewelry when she was taking care of her parents and then her husband. She had probably over 10 years where she was a caretaker for everyone and it was so much work and stress. The beads could be sold, but wow, are they nice treasures - lots of natural stone beads, oodles of little glass seed beads, every kind of bead imaginable. Since it cheers up K, I'll keep them for her. We also have a lot of embroidery thread from my grandmother, so I was thinking it could be nice to do bead embroidery art that we draw ourselves. The bigger beads could be used to make fun lamp shades and things like that, too. Anyway, it's more beads than any one family could ever use, so I do hope she sorts them at some point and gets rid of some.

Not much new. We got half the dining room painted the same color as the living room, and though I would not want all my rooms to be the same color if we were staying here, it is so much nicer covering up the weird 80s teal of the dining room. It makes the room look fresh and no longer looks dated. The old room colors were not relaxing. I also researched it and what the realtor says is true about having the house painted all the same neutral color helps the house sell for more money. I think our house would look really boring all the same color, so I'm glad that some rooms are painted a really different color (like the office is a deep navy with some green and dark grey in it, so it's relaxing). It rained all weekend, which was nice. Lots of thunder storms going by which were nice to watch when we took breaks and had tea in front of the big picture windows in the living room. I'll miss the big windowed room. It's why I really like this house. My weight went back up with the news about the mediation being cancelled, so I worked at it and got it back down. Time to start actually losing weight now!

 

[Llama]

I can imagine not being able to sell those beads! If you have any large glass containers you could fill them with beads and use them as ornaments. Maybe in flowing layers, like sand paintings! But that's coming from someone who enjoys sorting and categorizing tiny treasures...