Marsia's Diary

[Marsia]

I'm glad that K has been inspired to get back into songwriting. It will be good for her soul. That was good thinking backing up the stuff on your computer. I must do mine tomorrow. I hope there's nothing seriously wrong with it Yay for happy vegetables

Thanks Cate! She wrote a song last night and wasn't concerned with how it came out. She is getting it that writing shouldn't be fussed over at first when you are just trying to get your ideas out, and is happy to be writing in a more carefree way now. That makes me so happy. The computer probably needs to be wiped clean and a new operating system put on it. I didn't get some of my personal stuff backed up, so that's sad, but I'm fine with losing some things that aren't critical.

This talk about songwriting reminds me that I went through a song-writing time, where songs seemed to come so naturally to me. I processed a lot of stuff that way...and then at some point, I just seemed to quit and was no longer inspired. I think I wrote only 2 songs after that. Now the whole process seems sort of mysterious to me...
Anyway I hope K can find her inspiration again!
I hope you can get your computer sorted...computer issues are never fun.

That's great you have original songs that you wrote! Do you ever sing them anymore?

Computer problems are always stressful, I try to backup often but it is never often enough when the crash happens.

Thanks, Tru, I so agree. I kept thinking I'd get to back things up later, so I probably will lose some stuff. Lesson learned!

We've had 2 days in a row of driving around going to appointments, and I don't like driving all over. The computer store is located where there is no free parking, so we did get a half hour walk in yesterday, which made me feel better. I really need to do yoga today. I am really close to being done teaching classes. I didn't eat so well yesterday - had too much popcorn, something I have no business buying at all. I think it was from the stress of thinking about all the stuff I wish I could have backed up before the computer went down. They had trouble diagnosing anything in the store, because it would only turn on properly once. I did feel good getting all my important things working on the old computer. It's nice to have a backup.

 

[liza3]

She wrote a song last night and wasn't concerned with how it came out. She is getting it that writing shouldn't be fussed over at first when you are just trying to get your ideas out, and is happy to be writing in a more carefree way now.

Lovely that K went ahead and wrote a song without worrying too much about it. I think so much of the creative process just seems to be allowing ourselves to sit down and open up to the possibilities without judging ourselves too much on it.

That's great you have original songs that you wrote! Do you ever sing them anymore?

Sometimes. I still really like quite a few of them. I have forgotten some lines from some but it's amazing how they can come back to me after all these years.

 

[Cate]

Thanks Cate! She wrote a song last night and wasn't concerned with how it came out. She is getting it that writing shouldn't be fussed over at first when you are just trying to get your ideas out, and is happy to be writing in a more carefree way now. That makes me so happy.

That's lovely, M.
Hopefully, they can recover most of the stuff from your computer. I will back up mine as soon as I get off it this morning!

 

[Marsia]

Lovely that K went ahead and wrote a song without worrying too much about it. I think so much of the creative process just seems to be allowing ourselves to sit down and open up to the possibilities without judging ourselves too much on it.

Sometimes. I still really like quite a few of them. I have forgotten some lines from some but it's amazing how they can come back to me after all these years.

Thanks Liza, I agree. I like the spontaneous part of the creative process and am so glad K is enjoying that, too. A lot of what we are doing in English class is unlearning a lot of editing that she learned to do before she got her interesting ideas out. It's nice to help her go with the flow when she writes now. I'm so glad you remember the songs you wrote. Things like that are so special.

That's lovely, M.
Hopefully, they can recover most of the stuff from your computer. I will back up mine as soon as I get off it this morning!

Thanks, Cate! Unfortunately, the main processor on my computer is gone, and they had to wipe the memory to figure this out, so no more retrieving data for me. I feel ok about it, having got what I really needed off the computer. I feel at peace with this surprisingly. I think I am changing and getting calmer the last few days. I feel like we'll be ok and that whatever happens we'll just adjust and move on. I have no idea how I got in this mood, but it's really nice. Equanimity!

Today we did a bunch of fun coding - animating text with JavaScript in webpages. Then we got more screening up and I puttered in the garden until I felt dizzy from the heat and sweating so much - it was hot and humid and felt like a good sauna. We did yoga and got a bunch of little things done like figuring out the filters on the fridge. Ate pretty well and feel calm and content.

 

[Cate]

I feel ok about it, having got what I really needed off the computer. I feel at peace with this surprisingly. I think I am changing and getting calmer the last few days. I feel like we'll be ok and that whatever happens we'll just adjust and move on. I have no idea how I got in this mood, but it's really nice. Equanimity!

I love this!
I backed my laptop up this morning, thanks M.

Ate pretty well and feel calm and content.

& this!

 

[liza3]

Equanimity is so the way to go!

 

[Emilyrose]

I love hearing about the songwriting, so cool. Something I must try to get back into myself! It's a wonderful process.

Today we did a bunch of fun coding - animating text with JavaScript in webpages. Then we got more screening up and I puttered in the garden until I felt dizzy from the heat and sweating so much - it was hot and humid and felt like a good sauna. We did yoga and got a bunch of little things done like figuring out the filters on the fridge. Ate pretty well and feel calm and content.

I love all of this, fantastic!!

 

[Marsia]

Thanks everyone!! Equanimity, song writing, and computer backups are good! However, I am happily confused, or maybe just plain-old confused. I got the call that my computer is a dead brick. I picked up the computer and didn't look at the slip of paper they gave me with it. I got home. They gave me the wrong slip of paper - wrong name on the paper, wrong computer, wrong computer fixing center address. I tried turning on the computer. It turns on, it has a new operating system on it, and it seems perfectly fine and even cleaner than when I brought it in. The data has been wiped, and I tried a good free online data retrieval software on it, and the only files it shows on it are from yesterday. So, why did the person on the phone say that my computer is inoperable? Is it sort of working and may break again if I put my data I saved back on it? I will call them tomorrow to see - maybe I have a working computer that doesn't die and lose all my stuff. I will use it for practicing coding and things that don't require it to retain data anyway.

Today was good. I got the old computer loaded with the files I need the most and am getting all my school paperwork ready to send to the homeschool association. Ate a really nice huge salad. K and I had a great talk about things she might want to bring up with her therapist, and the therapist had really great input. We're reading a book on Marva Collins, a really cool educator from the inner city schools in Chicago who was asked by 2 presidents to be the education secretary, but she declined because she didn't want to be an administrator - she wanted to teach. One of those super inspirational teachers who got the worst behaved kids to love learning. It lifts us up to read it.

I didn't get enough exercise - we had to drive around a lot today. I really want to do what Tru wrote about on her diary and work up to being able to do aerobic exercise to the point where I should not be talking while doing it so I don't wear myself out. An article she posted talked about not doing such high intensity stuff that you are too worn out to keep going. I remember being able to happily jog so I shouldn't talk because it would have been too much. I think I can get back to that eventually. It's worth trying anyway!

 

[Cate]

I think equanimity might become one of my favourite words, along with serendipity.
Good news about your computer......I think
I must go & read Tru's article. I was in a hurry when I saw it & didn't click on the link.
It's good that you had a good day with K & I hope you have a more active one tomorrow. I'll have to do the same!

 

[Marsia]

Thanks Cate! I love the word serendipity, too. This morning I was playing my happy little online game on the repaired computer while watching a youtube video, and the computer crashed. So I have my answer - it is a fancy dead brick that will entice you to use it and then crash! I am glad I didn't do too much with it last night. I may mow the front lawn before it gets too hot and get slowly started on ramping up to jogging like Tru recommends by doing some of my college weight loss video with K today. I told her about what Tru wrote and she likes the idea for her, too.

 

[liza3]

Too bad about the computer, but good you didn't do too much on it. I didn't read that article you were referring to but are you referring to the idea one should be jogging at a pace where you can talk (but not sing)? I think I am generally at that pace though I definitely have some higher intensity times when going uphill. I know someone said to me that I should just switch to walking at those times, but I like those increments of intensity... If you ever do look at jogging again I would also highly recommend a walk-run program to help prevent injury. It makes all the difference for the joints.

 

[Marsia]

The article and Tru said that the ideal for fat burning is to do 80% of your exercise where it would be too much to say a sentence or two while doing aerobic exercise. The idea is to stay at that threshold so you can keep up the pace, but you don't poop yourself out to the point where you have to take a break. High intensity interval training is good, too, it just doesn't burn the stored fat in your body like this technique does - I think Tru said it burns the available carb calories you ate that day first, so you will be hungry after a HIIT session and it will be harder not to eat those calories right back. (I hope I have this right - look at Tru's diary to double check!). This is more a plan for people like me who probably have insulin resistance and it's horribly hard to lose any body fat, I think.

 

[Emilyrose]

I think that high intensity exercise is great but I don't think it's for everyone or needed really to be healthy and happy. Just my take! Worth a shot.

 

[Cate]

Boo to your computer being a tease! I have never had mine serviced I would hate to lose it as I don't have another. Tru's advice about exercise is really interesting. I am all ears. Exercise is more fun with company. Lucky K xo

 

[Marsia]

Thanks Em. I've gotten to the point where I think I have insulin resistance because losing a pound or two is a massive uphill battle. So I think I need to do something like my college exercise video to the point where talking while talking while doing it would be really hard. I actually like doing that video, so I think that will be my goal. Unfortunately, yesterday went completely differently than I had planned, and I didn't get to start on the video yet. I will get it out today.

I agree, Cate, exercising together is really wonderful! I am so lucky that J bought a computer for K for doing computer programming. I got her old computer, which is amazing that it's still working. It is a really old computer and still works great.

Yesterday I figured out college expenses with K and answered a bunch of questions from my lawyer. We also did a ton of web coding as I want to be finished with teaching today and just read the Marva Collins book together to finish up the school year. I wanted to go out and exercise yesterday, but it was so hot and muggy. I wish we had done indoor exercise instead. I'll do that today if it's icky outside. I finally made a chicken pot pie, and it came out really nice and with less starchy veggies inside it than I normally do, so it isn't too fattening.

It's really nice here in the early mornings. I need to start getting the yard work done first thing before it gets too hot. This time of year there is tons of birdsong, and frogs and toads everywhere. I keep finding a little toad in the screen house and a bird that nests in the pot of cilantro.

 

[liza3]

The article and Tru said that the ideal for fat burning is to do 80% of your exercise where it would be too much to say a sentence or two while doing aerobic exercise. The idea is to stay at that threshold so you can keep up the pace, but you don't poop yourself out to the point where you have to take a break. High intensity interval training is good, too, it just doesn't burn the stored fat in your body like this technique does - I think Tru said it burns the available carb calories you ate that day first, so you will be hungry after a HIIT session and it will be harder not to eat those calories right back. (I hope I have this right - look at Tru's diary to double check!). This is more a plan for people like me who probably have insulin resistance and it's horribly hard to lose any body fat, I think.

oh i see! Thanks for the explanation. I've never gotten technical with my intensity rates, but yeah I guess lots of people really have this down to a science. It'll be interesting to see if that is the thing that clicks with you.

t's really nice here in the early mornings. I need to start getting the yard work done first thing before it gets too hot. This time of year there is tons of birdsong, and frogs and toads everywhere. I keep finding a little toad in the screen house and a bird that nests in the pot of cilantro.

Nice that you have the cooler mornings to get some work done. i'm not looking forward to the heat of summer at all, but yeah that's the way to go when it gets hot--wake early and get the work done while it's still cool enough! So fun to have all the toads and frogs everywhere--I'm still always on the lookout for some but can never seem to find them!

 

[Cate]

I've gotten to the point where I think I have insulin resistance because losing a pound or two is a massive uphill battle.

Maybe I have too. Losing weight is an incredible battle for me.
It's great that you got so much done & yay for having a backup computer, as well as K, having one of her own.
Getting some outdoor exercise in at the start of the day sounds like a good plan.

 

[Llama]

So far - thankfully - my body is giving up weight no harder than it did 20 years ago if I stick to the same deficits. It's just so hard to consistently stick to a deficit these days...

 

[Marsia]

oh i see! Thanks for the explanation. I've never gotten technical with my intensity rates, but yeah I guess lots of people really have this down to a science. It'll be interesting to see if that is the thing that clicks with you.

Nice that you have the cooler mornings to get some work done. i'm not looking forward to the heat of summer at all, but yeah that's the way to go when it gets hot--wake early and get the work done while it's still cool enough! So fun to have all the toads and frogs everywhere--I'm still always on the lookout for some but can never seem to find them!

I've never seen so many and such cool frogs and toads in my life. They (plus the cool lizards) make going out into the garden extra nice. I don't plan on doing anything that technical with the info from Tru, just work toward being slightly out of breath while exercising. I did well with that yesterday and today. I mowed a big portion of the lawn and did it as a brisk pace so I was drenched in sweat and a little out of breath. I didn't want to be too far gone while operating a mower. Today we went for the first swim of the season, and the water is already so warm. The wind was really strong and it was a massive high tide, so there were nice waves, and we swam like crazy to get back up the beach several times. I think I found what will cure my frozen shoulder. Reaching out to do swim strokes is the perfect thing!

Maybe I have too. Losing weight is an incredible battle for me.
It's great that you got so much done & yay for having a backup computer, as well as K, having one of her own.
Getting some outdoor exercise in at the start of the day sounds like a good plan.

I hope we both find good ways to lose weight again that aren't so darn hard. I really don't want to have to count calories the rest of my life in fear of gaining because it's so impossible to lose anything!! The backup computer is a godsend right before mediation! We are thinking of going swimming early mornings because the water's so warm here, it will be the perfect time before the summer crowd gets to the beach. We lucked out and live by the nicest beach in the county.

So it is looking like it might be possible for K to go to college this coming fall. I talked with J on the phone, and though I can't trust a word out of his mouth, he may be ok with helping with college and with being cooperative at mediation. It was a good talk where I didn't have to trust anything he said. I just let him know what I wanted to communicate so that it may help so he cooperates. Every conversation with him is like 4D chess. But I think I did as well as I could. I meditated before the call, which helped immensely, and it was so nice to spend the afternoon in the ocean afterward. I feel so relaxed and reset now. We really live in such a beautiful place. I am so grateful because it makes getting through all this a bit easier.

 

[Marsia]

So far - thankfully - my body is giving up weight no harder than it did 20 years ago if I stick to the same deficits. It's just so hard to consistently stick to a deficit these days...

Welcome back Llama! I really hope you never have this problem. It is ultra frustrating!!!