Llama

That too, but it's also still vacation season. Almost done though.

Had the weirdest dream, which basically seemed to be telling me I could be doing much more than I am and I whine too much. Which may be true, or it may not be. But I did make it to the gym and had a decent workout. Very busy today even though I went early, and several young women were doing IG type booty workouts which will not in fact make their butts look like those of their idols because said idols didn't achieve their looks that way themselves. Which is kind of sad but then we want to be sold a dream and that's what we get.
 
Llama said:
several young women were doing IG type booty workouts which will not in fact make their butts look like those of their idols because said idols didn't achieve their looks that way themselves. Which is kind of sad but then we want to be sold a dream and that's what we get.
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That made me kind of laugh and kind of sad--just at the state of humanity in general...in that sort of sad way...like even if one got the butt they wanted would that make life that much better? I mean I'm in the same boat (body-wise it's more a flat gut i like to imagine)...but i also know that a flat gut isn't going to make a difference.
Anyways if we can at least find some joy and comradery along our ways to our little dreams, maybe that's all good enough. Hopefully these young women find that joy in the fact that they got themselves to the gym (maybe when they weren't feeling it), hopefully enjoyed the workout, hopefully connected with others...they might find things that are way better than any sort of look that might have gotten them to that workout in the first place :) Ah humans...

Anyways good for you getting out on that run and to the gym!
 
liza3 said:
Hopefully these young women find that joy in the fact that they got themselves to the gym (maybe when they weren't feeling it), hopefully enjoyed the workout, hopefully connected with others...they might find things that are way better than any sort of look that might have gotten them to that workout in the first place :) Ah humans..
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❤️ I love that and I hope you're right.

I made it through the day! And I took care of myself by asking for and getting a small change in the schedule that reduced my stress levels significantly. I still raided a grocery store on my way home and loaded up on binge supplies but I ended up eating only... maybe a third? Too much, for sure, but way better than it could've been.
 
Thanks Cate, Liza, and Vic! I... binged today. Not to an extreme degree but it was undeniably a binge. And now I don't want to run. Buuut if I don't run either I'm just going to feel worse tomorrow. So I should run. Right? Sigh. Ok, I should be back within an hour guys.
 
Back! I ran and I actually did better than on Tuesday. One of the reasons I wasn't motivated was that the front of my foot was kind of sore and I was afraid I was getting injured again BUT I'm pretty sure it's just because my shoe is too narrow. And since motivation is hard enough at the start without pain I'm going to buy new shoes before my next run.
 
Thanks Cate, Vic, and Floater. Meditated during my break at work yesterday and it felt so good that when I woke up at 4 am today I slipped right back into it instead of tossing and turning. I need to plan my meals today or I might risk a bigger binge today. (Just went over what I ate yesterday in my head and I don't think I went over maintenance by more than 300 kcal which is very encouraging AND tells me I wasn't having a lot of calories for mealtimes.) Breakfast is in my pack, lunch will be sushi and dinner... will just be a large salad.
 
Meditating is a wonderful habit to get into. I'm glad it's working for you. Food plan sounds good too :)
 
Llama said:
And since motivation is hard enough at the start without pain I'm going to buy new shoes before my next run.
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Excellent! Good always to have the right gear to make a run comfy!
Nice about the meditation too and the good meal planning
 
Thanks Cate and Liza. Did a lot better today. Still had a few too many sweets but mostly ate actual meals. The cramps are real today and I had a headache all morning at work but I made it through and on Monday all my colleagues should be back so I should finally be allowed to go back to hermiting.

Tomorrow will be busy but fun. Breakfast would sensibly be a large salad, lunch is whatever I can pick up, and dinner... Dinner can be tortilla pizza with a side salad, I think. Which reminds me that I need to make a new batch of slaw.
 
I love having a bowl of coleslaw handy too. It's so versatile (quick stir-fry or a side salad, or on top of a green salad) Hope you do have a much quieter week, Llama xo
 
Scale's up 0.8 kg from Wednesday but down 2 kg from the same point in my cycle a month ago. Heavy flow has started so the cravings should be down today. I think I'm doing very well despite everything.

Oh, also: my bp is back to being consistently at or below 120/80.
 
Thanks Liza, Vic, and Cate!

Very tired and haven't had dinner yet but I managed to squeeze in a visit to "my" shoe store for new running shoes and they're wonderful! Comfy and a lovely teal. (Quickly googles teal to see if not mixing up colors.) The shop assistent was a bit worried when I asked about them because "I'm afraid they're men's shoes 😟 " but graciously got them for me anyway when I assured them I wasn't afraid shoes would make people think about my genital configuration. (I didn't, but I should have.)
 
I often buy the men's version of shoes, especially hiking shoes as they're usually wider & more comfortable. That's excellent that you got new running shoes, Llama & teal is a lovely colour :)
 
Thank you :) Gendering clothes is silliness anyway. And on this front women have it easier than men: they'll often get made fun of relentlessly when they need women's anything. Which is... I don't even know what it is, exactly, but it's cruel and unnecessary regardless.

My feet are very tired (as is the rest of me) but I may try a short run this afternoon anyway just because I'm so excited about my shoes!
 
I was so exhausted this morning, both mentally and physically, that I just wanted to lie on the couch and stuff my face. Definitely did some of that but only ever took a reasonable portion to the couch with me each time and I feel like while I clearly overate it doesn't classify as a binge. I don't feel sick, or even over-full, I still ate a normal breakfast and lunch, and I'm actually hungry right now (3:42 pm). My legs feel a lot better so I'm going to go for a short, slow run to break in my new shoes!
 
Llama said:
The shop assistent was a bit worried when I asked about them because "I'm afraid they're men's shoes 😟 "
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lol yes so funny the idea of something being for a certain gender!
Llama said:
Gendering clothes is silliness anyway. And on this front women have it easier than men: they'll often get made fun of relentlessly when they need women's anything. Which is... I don't even know what it is, exactly, but it's cruel and unnecessary regardless.
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yes women have made way more progress in the flexibility of what we can wear. I wonder when men will regularly be able to wear skirts and dresses and not have it be a big deal. The movement there seems so slow.
Llama said:
My legs feel a lot better so I'm going to go for a short, slow run to break in my new shoes!
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Awesome--i hope the run goes well! I usually wear my new shoes walking for short walks for a bit before trying to run in them, but a short slow run sounds like it should work too.
 
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