Liza's diary

Marsia

Well-known member
I agree - running a half marathon as a form of joy sounds delightful! Glad you are not minding the gluten free experiment. And I hope you are feeling great emotionally, too!!
 

liza

Well-known member
Thanks Cate, Marsia, LaMa.
I am having trouble keeping up with my diary for some reason, so just trying to at least stay in touch with you all in your diaries :)
It helps me to keep on track just reading yours.

I have mostly kept up with the running, though today I skipped because my phone broke and I had to go deal with that. Would have way rather been running! Still don't have the phone sorted but at least I took the first steps and I hate dealing with stuff like that.
I may try and fit a run in tomorrow instead. Truthfully, I am feeling a little intimidated by what my next runs are supposed to be. Not really sure if I am up for it so I will have to remember to try and find the balance between pushing a little and keeping the joy of it alive and maybe falling short of set goals.

Emotionally, i am not too sure. I think the anxiety has been quite a bit better the last week, but I also find myself feeling a little down. I can't quite put my finger on anything and it could be the season, calming my anxiety but bringing up more sadness. I prefer the sadness as it feels more manageable for me.

I did a little ceremony at home by myself honouring all souls/all saints day this year. Never done that before but as I grow older it just seems that I know more and more people that have died. It felt like a nice way to honor them all, but it may have added to my sense of sadness and introspection as well.

Food-wise I think I am doing ok. Still gluten free, eating well-balanced meals, enjoying my treats but not over-doing things.
I suppose I would never get to "ideal" fat levels while I continue to enjoy the treats so I am coming more and more to terms with being at an "acceptable" level and enjoying my treats.

Also, my excema continues to be pretty bad.

Right. enough for now
Thank you all for your support! :grouphug:
 

Llama

Well-known member
I am having trouble keeping up with my diary for some reason, so just trying to at least stay in touch with you all in your diaries :)
It helps me to keep on track just reading yours.
Same 🙈 Always good to see you're here though.
Truthfully, I am feeling a little intimidated by what my next runs are supposed to be.
Focusing on the joy of definitely sounds like the more important thing. You're doing so well on the running!
I suppose I would never get to "ideal" fat levels while I continue to enjoy the treats so I am coming more and more to terms with being at an "acceptable" level and enjoying my treats.
I think that's a very reasonable decision. We don't have to be at the lower end of the healthy range in order to be healthy or worthy.
 

Cate

Long-term member.
I am feeling a little intimidated by what my next runs are supposed to be.
You know, they are not supposed to be anything, except what you want them to be. Running for the joy of running sounds like a wonderful idea to me.
Having the ceremony for all souls/all saints would make anyone a bit sad & introspective.
Continue to take good care of yourself, Liza. You seem to have a good balance happening at the moment :grouphug:
 

Marsia

Well-known member
I agree with Cate and LaMa about adjusting the running goals so they fit what works for you. Glad you are still really enjoying running. My mom passed away around Halloween last year, so this Halloween was sad for me. I forget, do you get tested for food allergies soon? I hope you can figure out what is causing the excema soon. I like your outlook on diet and treats. Sounds like you are striking a good balance. Hugs and hope you are feeling happier again soon!!
 

liza

Well-known member
Just a quick note that I will make a proper update here soon and slowly make my way around to everyone's diaries in the next couple of days. Feeling a little stressed and like I'm behind with a lot of things in my life right now. So I'm trying to get things back to feeling manageable. That's my goal for today to at least take some steps toward getting even just one thing crossed off my list. And to do some CBT work this morning to help me with doing that.
Thank you all for your thoughtful replies and support and I will write more later.:grouphug:
 

Cate

Long-term member.
Liza's new list-
Be kind to myself, :grouphug:
Don't put pressure on myself,
Do away with to-do lists & where I should be by now lists & then repeat this list......-
Be kind to myself :grouphug:
Sending you lots of love, xoxo.
 

Marsia

Well-known member
Hi Liza, so happy you are doing CBT to get organized and calm! Please take your time with getting around to diaries. It sounds like you need some you-time!
 

liza

Well-known member
Thank you LaMa, Cate and Marsia :grouphug:

Cate, I love that list. I am thinking of printing it out and putting it on my wall :)

My mom passed away around Halloween last year, so this Halloween was sad for me.
I'm really sorry to hear that Marsia. That's really hard.

I forget, do you get tested for food allergies soon? I hope you can figure out what is causing the excema soon.
I wont do any official testing. My hope is to narrow down food sensitivities through elimination. So far I don't think elimnating gluten has made any difference, so I figure I'm either fine with gluten, or I'm sensitive to lots of things (more what I suspect) and so eliminating gluten alone just doesn't make enough difference.

I'm trying to convince myself to eliminate dairy next. And do the next 6 weeks both gluten and dairy free....just don't know if I can make myself do it. The excema alone should motivate me.

It's funny I had such hesitancy around eliminating gluten, and then when I did it I realize it's no big deal. but now I come up with the same resistance around elimiinating dairy. There are such easy alternatives for dairy so it shouldn't be a big deal.
I have cheese left so will finish that before I consider switching.

Things are feeling like they're settling a bit and I'm feeling less stressed. Went out on a wonderful run in wind and rain today. When I left for it my stomach was all twisted up in nerves but the minute I started running that was gone and I've carried on feeling so much better and calmer today.

Slowly crossing off things from my to-do list.
 

Cate

Long-term member.
Slowly crossing off things from my to-do list.
:toetap05:
Liza's new list-
Be kind to myself, :grouphug:
Don't put pressure on myself,
Do away with to-do lists & where I should be by now lists & then repeat this list......-
Be kind to myself :grouphug:
Hmmm.
Just kidding. I love that you love my list. I'm so glad you're feeling better & calmer & enjoyed a run. Running should be fun (I can't believe I just said that). We should enjoy the things we do or there's not much point in doing them.
 

Trusylver

Sport and Exercise Coach
Staff member
I wont do any official testing. My hope is to narrow down food sensitivities through elimination. So far I don't think elimnating gluten has made any difference, so I figure I'm either fine with gluten, or I'm sensitive to lots of things (more what I suspect) and so eliminating gluten alone just doesn't make enough difference.

I'm trying to convince myself to eliminate dairy next. And do the next 6 weeks both gluten and dairy free....just don't know if I can make myself do it. The excema alone should motivate me.

Sometimes elimination is harder than it sounds, I still get caught out from hidden wheat in products, for example todays slip-up was a product with xanthan gum in it (I trusted my husband ability to read labels), which is made from glucose which can come from wheat, needless to say, I am very itchy right now.
 

Marsia

Well-known member
Hi Liza. Glad to hear you are feeling more organized and calm, and that you're having fun running in the stormy weather. That sounds fun! I really like oat milk as a dairy substitute. It tastes the most like milk of all the non-dairy milks I've tried. I hope the elimination diet goes well. With both wheat and dairy gone, I wonder if you'll automatically lose a little weight?
 

Cate

Long-term member.
Hi, Liza. Oat milk would be my preference too, but I would make my own I think. Here it only comes in non-recyclable tetra packs. Hope you're doing ok :grouphug:
 

liza

Well-known member
Do away with to-do lists
Lol cate--truthfully i sort of missed that part of my new list! I did take to heart the other parts of being kind to myslef and not putting pressure on myself though!
To-do lists always make me feel less overwhelmed when things suddenly pile up. Just seemed everything broke and went wrong and changed at the same time a couple of weeks ago, so trying to deal with that felt hard, but when I can write it out and slowly cross things off I feel better. Feeling pretty much caught up now....almost....i really need to shop as I have entirely run out of veggies so hopefully once that's done, my life will feel more orderly again.

Feeling better and calmer alone could make a difference for your eczema. I know it does for me.
Yes--it's already gotten much better just getting those things sorted. Also bought my favorite hand cream for the eczema so that is helping too.

for example todays slip-up was a product with xanthan gum in it (I trusted my husband ability to read labels), which is made from glucose which can come from wheat, needless to say, I am very itchy right now.
Oh wow--good to know Tru--I didn't know that about xanthum gum! I'm pretty sure I have that in some things I'm eating...

With both wheat and dairy gone, I wonder if you'll automatically lose a little weight?
Well that would be nice! So far no changes in weight or body fat with just gluten gone. I'm pretty good at finding good fatty replacements for anything that gets eliminated haha.
My current weight is 136, body fat 28.4--
beginning gluten free it was at 137, body fat at 28.9%
so a slight change but with normal fluctuation I thnk no change really.

Oat milk would be my preference too, but I would make my own I think.
I don't actually drink milk so that won't be a concern. My hardest thing to replace will be yogurt and cheese. I can get vegan forms of both of course but don't think I will like them the same. So I will probably aim to replace the cheese with more nut butters, and either skip the yogurt or see if there might be a vegan one that I like.

I used to be vegan so I know there is a lot out there. It's more just getting back into it.

Well things are settling down a bit more each day so that feels good. I abandoned the running training schedule to build up to half-marathon while coping with stuff but only skipped one day of running. So I just ran as I felt. It's amazing what that does for my nerves. Today was to be running but as I mentioned I really need to shop so I think I will prioritize that. I might be able to fit in both but won't push it.

Will slowly make my way round to the other diaries in the next couple of days. Forgive me if I'm slow getting to it!
 

Cate

Long-term member.
Hi, Liza. I have a to-do list just to remind myself. I would have been lost without a shopping list once. Now I go to my supermarket app & add things when I think of them as I get deliveries now.
I'm glad you have taken the pressure off yourself with the running. You love it so much & it's so good for you- it was a shame to turn it into something else. That just reminded me to send it off. We're almost out of butter :svengo:
 

liza

Well-known member
Thanks Cate. (and LaMa checking in) I managed to get the shopping done yesterday, My day went ok but I was so exhausted that the stress of it all resulted in a horrible bout of anxiety. Dreadful feeling!
I hope to get my run in today as I did skip it yesterday. Pouring with rain which is never the most encouraging to step out into but I know it's often good once I get going...on days like this I tell myself even if I just get in a 30 minute run (or hell even a 10 minute run!) that's better than nothing!
 
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