Liza

Thanks @Cate and @Llama !

That's a shame about the uke singing group now heading indoors. That really sounds like fun.
Yeah I'm pretty sad about losing that--it was doing wonders for my mood connecting with people like that. I will be starting a new book study soon, so that might help with keeping me socially active, but something about ukulele circles I just love that I haven't really found anywhere else. It just calls everyone with every level of ability, people are so open and friendly, and you just can't help but have a laugh...I dunno maybe eventually I will decide it is worth the covid risk and just go...
I think I will see where the covid cases go for the fall and decide from there...

Well official weigh-in day and I admit I'm a little disappointed to STILL be at 141...I know I said I don't want to be focused on weight until after I try for 13 miles again, but I guess I was hoping it would still go down a little...oh well. I do feel I will know when I am ready to cut back more on food...not yet...

Besides the stubborn scale number, I am feeling good. I'm loving the routine I'm getting into with the running and then the strength and stretch days. I love how my body feels lately. Strong, able, happy...
I am still enjoying my treats and I know if I let those go I would see a scale shift, but I don't want to let them go. I am enjoying those and feel I am taking them in moderate enough amounts. I only have them out of the house, and usually it is enjoyed with a friend. It's a nice way to connect. I was realizing the other day that I don't want to become so caught up in Fitness stuff that the other enjoyments get totally shoved aside...

So this next week the goals will be similar...to just carry on with the running, the strength and stretch routine, the calorie counting(even if it isn't totally accurate which I'm sure it's not otherwise the scale should be coming down) But it's good to stay aware of an idea of what i'm eating and approximately how much.
 
I know I said I don't want to be focused on weight until after I try for 13 miles again, but I guess I was hoping it would still go down a little...oh well.
It's hard not to get your hopes up when you're feeling good. Yay for optimism!
Besides the stubborn scale number, I am feeling good. I'm loving the routine I'm getting into with the running and then the strength and stretch days. I love how my body feels lately. Strong, able, happy...
Now that is awesome.
I am still enjoying my treats and I know if I let those go I would see a scale shift, but I don't want to let them go. I am enjoying those and feel I am taking them in moderate enough amounts. I only have them out of the house, and usually it is enjoyed with a friend.
That, too. Imoderation is hard but when you can do it it's by far the most fun version of doing things.
 
Thanks @Ben_In_NC and @Llama (and @Cate checking in even when so tired!)

Yes I realize I am just not that motivated to take health as far as I could take it...I like having my treats, I like lazing about...
I also want to just really enjoy my running and not make it feel like a chore which is how it starts to feel when I try to push harder. So that is just where I am at for now...

Yesterday was lovely. A good run followed by a lovely meditative walk through a wonderful forest-y area. Fall is just gorgeous in there. It's actually way more evergreen trees but the few deciduous ones are making that place shine with all the colorful leaves.
I love meditative walks after running as my head space seems more open to it all...

Actually after the brief discussion on runners high in Ben's diary, I looked that up to see what that was, what it feels like wondering if I ever get it...and while I don't think i get what's referred to as the euphoria piece, they do mention that running can release more "endocannabinoids" (similar to cannabis but produced naturally by the body!) It produces a calm peaceful type feeling ...that is how I feel post-run for sure and I love walking through beautiful areas to just absorb it all in that state. It is a very natural open sort of mind-state that feels different than when I just walk without running first.

I ate mostly well...have started digging out my herbal teas for the cooler days too. So nice :)

calorie deficit -304
 
Yes I realize I am just not that motivated to take health as far as I could take it...I like having my treats, I like lazing about...
I also want to just really enjoy my running and not make it feel like a chore which is how it starts to feel when I try to push harder. So that is just where I am at for now...
And there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. There are a ton of trade-offs when it comes to health/fitness/exercise, and it's up to each individual to decide what is "worth it" to them. I recently saw an IG post by a fitness trainer where he posted a pic of himself where he was completely "shredded" for some sort of on-stage fitness/bodybuilding competition--exceedingly well-defined muscle, firm 6-pack, very low body fat. And in the captions he said something along the lines of "I did this once and decided it just wasn't worth it. I wanted a life. To get to look like this, I couldn't enjoy food. I couldn't go out with friends. I couldn't do anything but pour every part of me into looking like this." And then he talked about how everyone needs to figure out what's worth it and what isn't. Hr closed with something like "if you want to look like this, I know how to do it and can train you, and more power to you. You do you, but I'm not doing it any more."

Find the balance that works for YOU!
 
It produces a calm peaceful type feeling ...that is how I feel post-run for sure and I love walking through beautiful areas to just absorb it all in that state.
Sounds like how I feel while hiking alone in the forest on good days. Definitely not today though.
There are a ton of trade-offs when it comes to health/fitness/exercise, and it's up to each individual to decide what is "worth it" to them.
Hear hear!
 
Yesterday was lovely. A good run followed by a lovely meditative walk through a wonderful forest-y area. Fall is just gorgeous in there. It's actually way more evergreen trees but the few deciduous ones are making that place shine with all the colorful leaves.
I love meditative walks after running as my head space seems more open to it all...
That sounds so good. You seem to be in such a good space, Liza. I'm a bit like you when I push myself too much.
 
And then he talked about how everyone needs to figure out what's worth it and what isn't.
Thanks for that Ben! Such a good point and such an excellent story from someone who actually took himself that far and realized he had other priorities. I do feel happy with the amount of effort I'm making right now. It feels good and sustainable while being able to keep the other priorities in my life going.
Sounds like how I feel while hiking alone in the forest on good days.
May you have more of those days. i know you have done some pretty long hikes and that probably would give off that similar feel. It's so neat...that open sort of high feeling. If I don't have time to walk post-run, I don't get to enjoy that feeling as much. It's really a nice thing to walk in the woods afterwards in that mind-state.
That sounds so good. You seem to be in such a good space, Liza. I'm a bit like you when I push myself too much.
Thanks Cate. Yes I do feel pretty good lately--not always, but generally for sure.

Yesterday I had a bunch of anxiety (which had started the day before and gave me a sleepless night) but it felt like a win because despite wanting to just curl up in a ball and fret and worry I carried on with my plan for the day. Did my strength and stretch routine, went on a walk, did some chores around the house, ate fairly decently (that did suffer a bit as it's hard for me to eat well when anxious)...
So overall a pretty good day! Trying to learn to just take all the anxiety and scary feelings along with me for the ride when they show up.

Was glad to get a very good sleep last night and anxiety levels seem a bit better. Planning for a run this morning.

calorie deficit yesterday -267
 
Yesterday I had a bunch of anxiety (which had started the day before and gave me a sleepless night) but it felt like a win because despite wanting to just curl up in a ball and fret and worry I carried on with my plan for the day.
So overall a pretty good day! Trying to learn to just take all the anxiety and scary feelings along with me for the ride when they show up.
That's awesome! Well, not the anxiety but the fact that you're developing the skills you need to deal with it
 
Thanks @Llama and @Cate
yeah anxiety is my on-going life-long journey and I've tried every method of how to avoid, fix and live with it! It's taken me to a lot of interesting journeys!

Last 2 days have been pretty good.
I switched to my new running schedule this week. It's one I found for more at my level rather than that one for training for the hilly half-marathon. (I will still be doing a hilly 13 miles but the training won't be as intense)
Anyways this schedule has me running 3 shorter runs, 3 days in a row, (and still the one long one run) so that's quite different... So I ran Monday and Tuesday and will run today again. I did feel my ankles during my run yesterday but they were fine after the run...but i wonder what they'll be like today...anyways will adjust where necessary.

Anxiety is still with me but at lower levels and am just carrying on with doing healthy things and doing pretty good with that. Yesterday overate a little so that I was in the surplus...too much junk...i think I was still in the mode of wanting to just feel better so sugared up...when I'm anxious it's hard to think that weight goals matter.

Now because my running schedule changed it's also affected the stretch and strength routine. Not sure which days to fit that in. Maybe just do it when I'm not running...yes, i guess that's what i'll do. Should only be a couple of weeks before I try for the 13 miles again and then I can go to a different routine.

I was also thinking this morning that I want to try switching my bedtime/sleep routine. Going to try to slowly start going to bed earlier and getting up earlier to try and fit things better with the changing season.

I also realize that I need to consider how important it is to me to lose that extra 10 pounds. The way I'm going now it looks like i would just be maintaining at around 140. Does that feel good enough for me and where I'm at with things or do I want to lose more of that belly?

Maybe will look more at that after the 13 mile attempt and see....I feel like I could do things like sprint training, maybe more weight training and things that could target more fat loss...

Monday was calorie deficit of -310
Tuesday a surplus of +66
 
Take care of those ankles please.
I also realize that I need to consider how important it is to me to lose that extra 10 pounds. The way I'm going now it looks like i would just be maintaining at around 140. Does that feel good enough for me and where I'm at with things or do I want to lose more of that belly?
I now have a proper mirror in my office again and it kills me to see my reflection while I'm working. Good motivation, I guess...
 
I also realize that I need to consider how important it is to me to lose that extra 10 pounds. The way I'm going now it looks like i would just be maintaining at around 140. Does that feel good enough for me and where I'm at with things or do I want to lose more of that belly?
If you get inspired you may inspire me too. Mine is more like 10 kg though. It gets harder & harder to get inspired *sigh*
 
Take care of those ankles please.

I now have a proper mirror in my office again and it kills me to see my reflection while I'm working. Good motivation, I guess...
yeah mine comes when I look down at my gut sticking out. Definitely much worse when I know it's mostly just bloating from pms or certain foods though and I know even losing that fat won't change that...
If you get inspired you may inspire me too. Mine is more like 10 kg though. It gets harder & harder to get inspired *sigh*
well hopefully even just staying on top of things help things not get into more weight gain...I do know I was steadily gaining before returning to the forum so at least there's that that we are not still gaining...

Good run yesterday. Short and easy and my ankles were fine. Yes I take ankle pain quite seriously as I know when I used to run it would go from ankle to knee pretty quickly and that was when my physiotherapist said no running for me unless I get proper orthotics) So I know it's no joke if I want to keep my knees happy.
Today I felt sad that I'm not scheduled to run for 2 days now...haha...that's a good sign surely...one of my running schedules said I should be ending runs feeling like I could run another mile rather than feeling exhausted...
Later on in the day when i was walking home I could feel all my muscles in my legs feeling so strong and happy. I love that feeling.
Made a real effort to try and resist the urge to overeat on sweets. Did sort of ok....could still use more self-control for sure though!

yesterday calorie deficit -276
 
Will you walk instead in the next couple of days or just have a rest? You must be getting really fit, Liza :)
 
It has to be! As good as craving veggies and fruit.
:) yes! I wish I was better at craving those rather than my chocolate fixes!
Will you walk instead in the next couple of days or just have a rest? You must be getting really fit, Liza :)
I always get some walking in just going about my day (I think yesterday about 40 mins) but no big walks planned. I did do my strength and stretch session yesterday and it's really nice to take that time esp for the yoga and qi gong portions. I love the way those make me feel as well.

Yesterday we also met for another outdoor uke session as the weather was still good enough. Was so happy to get another of those in. Any outdoor sessions we can fit in at this point feels like a real bonus.
It's so nice playing outside as we often have people who are just walking by stop to join us to just sing along. I think it lifts a lot of people's spirits.

yesterday overdid the sweets again...just no self control!
calorie deficit -137
 
Yesterday we also met for another outdoor uke session as the weather was still good enough. Was so happy to get another of those in. Any outdoor sessions we can fit in at this point feels like a real bonus.
It's so nice playing outside as we often have people who are just walking by stop to join us to just sing along. I think it lifts a lot of people's spirits.
That really does sound lovely :)
 
Hey Liza, your uke sessions really sound like fun. I play no instrument and know little about music, but I enjoy listening. I think yours would be a fun listen.

I have always envied your running. Maybe when my knees heal I will give it a try, but I haven't run in over 40 years. I asked my doctor about it and he said something to the effect that "those days are behind you". No matter I do like walking and hiking and should be able to do those much better.
 
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