LaMa

LaMaria

Well-known member
Thanks Floater and Cate. I actually packed sunscreen because I´m no stranger to sunburns in September but it was genuinely very cloudy most of the time. I don´t think we´ve seen the sun at all. Clearly those clouds weren´t as thick as they looked though, and it was windy so I didn´t feel my skin burning. Oh well, it´s not a terrible one.
Had a pretty decent sleep but just as I sat down to breakfast I got a message from our planner asking where I was at and if I´d maybe overlooked the fact that she´d switched up my shift for today? Why yes, apparently I have. So blind: I even printed this week´s schedule last Friday and still overlooked the change! So I finally asked her to notify me if she changes my work hours so I can put it into my calendar. Which to be frank is something I´d consider common courtesy anyway; I don´t think it´s my job to click myself through the schedule anytime I want to plan stuff just to see if maybe my shift is weird that day. And then either tell Planner about my Tuesday afternoon plans or keep checking to make sure she doesn´t change things. I have set work hours and I can´t check the schedule from outside work so it´s weird to put the burden of checking for changes on me. I was annoyed (and tired) enough to say I wouldn´t be able to come in until 11 am at the earliest. Which isn´t quite true: I could´ve made it by 9:10 if I really rushed.
 

Cate

Support crew
Good for you sticking to your guns, LaMa. That planner is very pesky!
 

LaMaria

Well-known member
Thanks Cate. I feel guilty because I really should have seen it on Friday but then again this may be annoying enough for her that she remembers to ask/tell me next time.
 

liza

Well-known member
Yes I think that's totally reasonable to expect the planner to notify you of changes like that if your schedule is normally the same. I've had jobs where shifts would change all the time so you get used to checking, but ones where its consistently the same I would expect to be notified as well.
Love the sound of that wine and hike and all the laughs. I need some times like that!
 

Marsia

Well-known member
I would not call someone who messes with the schedule and then doesn't tell anyone a "planner". That's really not fair to be a professional and have your schedule messed with without anyone asking you. I completely agree with everyone about that. Glad your sunburn wasn't too bad, and that you had a nice hike!
 

LaMaria

Well-known member
Thanks guys. I´m not doing well. Still binging. Still not moving a lot. Still bleeding, too, but at least it seems to be practically over now. Don´t want to go to therapy today. Again. Starting to wonder if it wouldn´t be more efficient to get a massage every Tuesday. Definitely cheaper.
 

LaMaria

Well-known member
Thanks Liza. On my way home from therapy. I'm glad I went because I would've felt bad about canceling last-minute again and... disappointing myself? Yes, I guess I would've felt like a failure if I hadn't gone. Didn't make a new appointment though. I'm not in the right headspace to get my money's worth out of therapy right now. Back to the drawing board...
 

Marsia

Well-known member
Hi LaMa, so sorry you are feeling so out of sorts. I wonder if the massage would help. Seems worth a try! I had a similar feeling about my therapy. It helps a little, but is just too expensive for that little payoff, plus I am not in the right space to work really hard on myself right now either. Sending big hugs!!!
 

Cate

Support crew
A massage once a week sounds like a wonderful idea, LaMa. I didn't get much from therapy a few weeks ago but will go see her if I really feel the need in the future. I didn't really open up to her. A massage would be lovely. Hope you feel better when you wake, hon :grouphug:
 

LaMaria

Well-known member
Thanks Marsia and Cate. Whatever else happens today: I ate a decent breakfast. My stomach is grumbling about it a bit because I ate enough crap these past two weeks or so to rekindle my gastritis. And I still want to go and have chocolate right now. I absolutely don´t feel like prepping food for later. Maybe... I could make some bean mash and have it ready in the fridge just to make it easier to be sensible if I do feel like it later.

EDIT
I was annoyed last week when I noticed the beans I normally buy were repackaged: now in a less stackable can, 10 cents more expensive, and allegedly organic. Just noticed there´s also only 240 g in it instead of 285 earlier. Which throws off my protein planning. I´m probably being unreasonably critical here but I hate that kind of trickery.
 
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Marsia

Well-known member
Hi LaMa, I hope you can ease your way back into the more healthy foods so the gastritis subsides. That stinks! They do that trick here, too, where instead of raising the price on a food item, they just give you less. I really don't like that either. I wish I could prep some healthy food for you and make you a little care package. Feel better!!!
 

Emilyrose

Well-known member
Maybe something just for you every Tuesday could be good? Could be a massage or a trip to the cinema or a visit to a late-night cafe?

I was talking to my mum last night, and there is something to be said for just being ‘good enough.’ If you’re feeling crappy, trying to prep perfect meals might be too difficult. But having a coffee and cake or something as a treat without bringing junk food back home might help? Hang in there.
 

LaMaria

Well-known member
wish I could prep some healthy food for you and make you a little care package. Feel better!!
That's so sweet, thank you!
Maybe something just for you every Tuesday could be good? Could be a massage or a trip to the cinema or a visit to a late-night cafe?
I really should. I have allergy tests tomorrow and the appointment is at an awkward time but I might use the wait as an opportunity to find a massage therapist near me. I'm pretty sure I still owe myself a massage from whatever it was I did well way back in December!
If you’re feeling crappy, trying to prep perfect meals might be too difficult. But having a coffee and cake or something as a treat without bringing junk food back home might help?
The problem is kind of that I only really enjoy sweets when I can drag them back to my cave and enjoy them all alone with nobody watching. Does that sound horrible?
It probably means the sweets themselves aren't point. Not sure what the point IS anymore though. In part it's the overriding of unpleasant emotions, of course. It's hard to properly get lost in eating when I'm in public. There's an element of control involved, I think. Must never lose control in public. The why is something I keep circling back to, meaning I haven't properly resolved it yet.

Ok, some points:
- If my upcoming period knocks me of course as much as this one did I need a new iud.
- I will find a massage therapist.
- I will eat regular meals again rather than replacing them with binges.
- I will try and see if I can stick to fruit at home and only eat sweets when I can buy and eat them in public.
I need to plan meals again, even if I don't end up sticking to the plan.

Plan for tomorrow:
- kidney bean/bell pepper/spinach wraps
- either sushi or dürüm kebab
- pulled pork pitas
 

Marsia

Well-known member
I like the sound of your plan and how you are figuring out what you are after when you binge. I think about that a lot, too, why I eat too much when I do and what would be a healthy to get what I really am after. I hope the allergy tests go well!
 

Cate

Support crew
The why is something I keep circling back to, meaning I haven't properly resolved it yet.
That why is the hard part that's for sure.
I like your plans & insights, LaMa. Hope you find a massage therapist, hon. I could do with a massage too.
 

LaMaria

Well-known member
Weeell... I got my scratch test today. They called me back in after 7 minutes rather than the normal 15 because the welts were already so big. So that was fun. Blood results should arrive next Friday. Looks like my official allergy count hasn't changed after all.
 

liza

Well-known member
Yes therapy is so expensive! I often wish I felt more able to afford it, but it's just way out of my price range. I often think I would do better with just a peer support group where we're all just working on similar things--well i guess like this forum here!
Your plan going forward sounds excellent.
They called me back in after 7 minutes rather than the normal 15 because the welts were already so big
!! oh dear--so how soon do they go down again after that?
 

LaMaria

Well-known member
With topical steroids and an antihistamine it took about an hour for them to start going down. And another two hours to disappear. All good now though. I can´t be 100% sure but I do think the welts were smaller than the last time. Definitely for the peanut one, which I didn´t even let them do two years ago because it got so bad 4 years ago. So that´s a good thing. My dog allergy seems to have got worse though, which is weird because I hardly ever interact with dogs. Maybe patients with dog hair on their clothes? With cats that´s a pretty big problem for me if I don´t take my antihistamines.
 
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