LaMa

Llama

Well-known member
Didn´t bring my phone going to the grocery store so I couldn´t get test kits again (you need to have an app downloaded for the anonymized registration, which I did months ago but had forgotten about). Sigh. Paperwork complications makes me anxious and I´m a bit of a blubbering mess this morning anyway. I know I´m supposed to feel my feelings and all that (and I´m trying!) but I´m glad I get to go to work soon and forget about real life for a couple of hours.

Positivity edit: ate breakfast as planned and prepped lunch, dinner, and my snack. It´s all delicious and will sustain me well.
 

Marsia

Well-known member
Oh, I hate when I space out and need to go back to a store - which seems to happen a lot lately! I hope you remember it's just you who notices and nothing bad will come of it. I am so relieved that all the controlling people in my life have passed away, so I get free passes to be disorganized and unproductive now. Hope you have a lovely healthy lunch and let all the worries go!
 

Llama

Well-known member
Thanks Marsia, that made me smile. Exhausted after work but breakfast and morning snack are packed so all I have to do now is have a bath (tub's already full), brush my teeth, and sleep. Good to get back into a normal rhythm after all these weird weeks.
 

Llama

Well-known member
Thanks Tru, Marsia, Cate, and Fiera. Tired today. Was hungry on my way home yesterday and still went into the grocery store. Not because I really needed to, just because I was kind of jittery and wanted something. Came out with a box of Schwedenbomben (whipped-up sugary eggwhite covered in chocolate; I'm sure there's an English word but my brain is tired and idgaf). Which I'd been craving for a while but what I was craving was a brand that's no longer sold in Austria so the ones I got weren't actually satisfying. They did give me a headache and upset my stomach though so I hope that'll cure me of this specific craving. Probably went about 400-500 kcal over maintenance. And skipped my run because my calf hurt (which probably increased my desire to binge). Exhausted this morning and have no motivation whatsoever for anything, including work. Whine. Whinge. Will pick up a baguette on my way to work. Should probably still get off my ass and prep pea mash for tomorrow's breakfast because I'm not likely to be more motivated to do useful things AFTER my shift. I'm on treadmill-of-death duty all week and the noise is killing my brain AND my throat. Speaking of which: I did get my ID app sorted out but the cashier didn't know where to find the test kits and I didn't want to release my inner Karen so I still haven't started my extra testing 🤦‍♀️
God I'm so grumpy and I'm getting on my own nerves SO MUCH.
 

Llama

Well-known member
De-grumped while making pea mash and ended up making wraps for dinner so food wasn't actually bad today. Work was exhausting but nice. Made more wraps for breakfast tomorrow.
 

Marsia

Well-known member
Too bad you can't wear noise canceling ear plugs around that nasty machine. Glad you are feeling better. Third time's the charm getting your tests, hopefully!
 

Llama

Well-known member
I'm glad you degrumped. I have too. I can't stand myself when I get so grouchy.
Me neither. I seriously hope nobody notices it as much as I do because I´d shove myself out of the window if I could sometimes!
Too bad you can't wear noise canceling ear plugs around that nasty machine. Glad you are feeling better. Third time's the charm getting your tests, hopefully!
Heheh: that one WAS my third try. It´ll happen eventually though: I´m no longer stressed about it. About the earplugs: apparently our tech guy is working on headsets that´ll block out the roar while still allowing us to communicate with patients. Fingers crossed! (It has to be a system that can be disinfected properly which makes things a little more complicated than normal.)

Today was my one treadmill-free shift this week and it was gloriously calm. We´re 3 therapists short so fewer patients sitting outside talking as well. Bliss. I´m sure all my clients had a 7.6% better therapy outcome due my happiness.

I had a dream last night that was stupidly stereotypical: I was at my old secondary school for my English exam and as I walked in I realized I was naked. The fun part was that I decided it wasn´t my fault and it didn´t really matter. I knew I could do well on this exam and I wanted to show it so I wouldn´t be put off by something as inconsequential as people seeing my body. Priorities, people! :rotflmao:
 

Llama

Well-known member
If they don't put us back into lockdown I have a museum visit with a friend to look forward to next week. Very greatful to have the kind of friends who enjoy going to strange exhibitions with me and I've missed it these past almost two years.
On the less positive side I've not been eating as many greens lately as I was when I fixed my skin and it's starting to show. So breakfast tomorrow is going to be a giant green salad with soy flakes, fruit, chia seeds, and flax. Not sure about lunch yet but dinner will be sushi. With a side salad.
 

Cate

Long-term member.
You mentioned that magic word again- sushi!
Glad you had a better, less noisy day at work. LaMa & I hope your museum visit will go ahead xo
 

Marsia

Well-known member
I really hope you get to go on museum adventures with friends again. I even miss just hearing about such things. I remember back when we were blissfully ignorant of how darn lucky we were to go on cultural outings! I'm jumping on the greens bandwagon, too, as they fill me up and I eat better when I do a lot of salads because they make me feel so better in general. What are soy flakes like? Sounds interesting.
 

Llama

Well-known member
You mentioned that magic word again- sushi!
Glad you had a better, less noisy day at work. LaMa & I hope your museum visit will go ahead xo
Museum trip had to be moved due to a scheduling error but at least it's on the radar again! Sushi didn't happen and I binged instead: scale was up to 81 kg this morning and I'm awfully 🤢
I remember back when we were blissfully ignorant of how darn lucky we were to go on cultural outings!
Let's hope we can remember how lucky we are once things go back to normal.
What are soy flakes like? Sounds interesting.
They're just like rolled oats, really: steamed and rolled-out dried soy beans. If you soak them they plump back up and become kind of gritty but if you just add them last-minute the texture is quite nice and their taste isn't very noticeable. ~40 g protein and 400 kcal per 100 g so a good way to bump up your protein if needed. Take a lot of chewing though.
 

Llama

Well-known member
Lemme use this diary for its intended purpose for a change: stop myself from bullshitting myself. I feel crappy (although going through with family exercise regardless has helped a little) and really just want to lie on the couch grazing on further crap all day. BUT I also want to be fitter and leaner than I am right now and I can no longer excuse inactivity with a need for rest. So I need to do better. I need more fruit, because fruit makes me feel so much better than candy and once I actually get it out of the fridge genuinely taste better, too. I also need more greens, because skin. And I need motivation to eat those greens again. I think I´ll skip the protein pudding for a week or so and replace them with a fruit/greens/flax salad as a snack. Less protein but more micronutrients. Takes longer to eat (so bad for work) but is strangely satisfying. I´m out of Pepsi Max. Out of kidney beans as well. Mayyybe I could do falafel pitas with a nice spicy tomato sauce? Should probably do a batch of lentil stew but I don´t feel like it when feeling crappy. Maybe a lentil and mushroom pot pie? Want some kind of rice dish as well, maybe. Definitely need to cut back on the animal products again for a bit but I´m not at all motivated to cut them out completely so I might pick up something meaty as well.
 

Marsia

Well-known member
Wow, you had the kind of day I had diet-wise. I stepped on the scale today and discovered that I gained all my weight back. I realized I need to get serious or else what am I doing on the forum really?! Anyway, I agree about no more BSing myself - time to start counting calories and doing the things I know really work. I vote for lentils - they are so delicious!
 

Llama

Well-known member
Yeah, regaining sucks. Still at a decent level compared to where I once was but I do want to get back into the low 70s. I keep telling trying to bargain with myself, trlling myself my scale's bodyfat number is unreliable and it may not be as bad as it looks but if I really believed that I'd be getting a DEXA scan done (no under-water-weighing possible in Vienna) to figure out where I'm really at instead of telling myself I'll do that once I hit 75 again. Because 35% fat is clearly too high and while it could indeed be lower in reality it could also be higher and that's something I'd really want to know. Even though I really don't.

Edit:
New Rule! I have to eat greens with every meal again. Doesn't matter what I eat but I have to have greens.
 

Llama

Well-known member
Went out to buy sweets this afternoon (and ate them all) but I also ate real meals and got my veggies in. I count that as a win, especially because I now have leftovers for a couple of days.
Plan for tomorrow:
- Falafel pitas
- Brown lentil/mushroom/leek casserole
- Pea mash and pistachio wraps
- Chia pudding and fruit for snacks.
 

Llama

Well-known member
The nightmare du jour (or de la nuit, I guess) involved being chased by a giant werewolf. With a flamethrower. But hey, at least I had a spoon to defend myself. Let's see how many days/nights of eating greens it takes to make the dreams stop again. Actually: I'd quite like to keep the vivid dreams and just lose the nightmare parts but it seems it's either all or nothing.
 

Llama

Well-known member
Grumpy again. Not angry grumpy this time but more anxious/exhausted grumpy. Allergies aren't helping. I just want to curl up in bed and nap the day away. Did family exercise in the morning and had a haircut but neither helped. Hope the walk to work will clear my head.
 
Top