LaMa

Cate

Support crew
I hate that I keep making the same mistakes over and over again.
Me too, LaMa. You're right. We're not stupid- we're human. At least we are trying. I hadn't heard of Anhedonia but can see that is how I get from time to time. I connect it with mild depression. Let's hope this passes soon :grouphug:
 

Marsia

Well-known member
We´re not stupid people so why does it keep playing out the same way? September isn´t over yet and I was going to be kind to myself in September so I´m going to say that being human is just messy and complicated. Spock would agree.
I think looking at this from the perspective of CBT would help me. I have anxiety, overeat, it feels soothing and knocks down the anxiety some, so I do that again next time, and I make a feedback loop (like Em says where I'm stuck on repeat) where I've trained myself to soothe with food. But now I am anxious about how much weight I've gained, so I try not to overeat, but I don't have a healthy loop in place to replace the bad-for-me coping strategy of eating to self soothe. Some things I want to try: not buying food I especially want to overeat, do a soothing type of exercise when I get stressed, journal, research healthier strategies like maybe a less strict version of mindful eating, only eat when I'm genuinely hungry and have a list of other stuff to do instead, maybe let myself eat the soothing thing after I earn it through exercise, and I especially need to pause and see if I can tell why I am upset. I need a strategic plan like this like you have your food plan, I think, and I need to experiment to see what works for me. I know I can slowly and painfully lose the weight again counting every calorie, but I want to train myself this time to have a positive loop that I can almost always stick to.

Do you guys have a sense of what you would want to try as far as long-term strategies? Have there been things that worked well in the past that just got dropped by mistake?
 

LaMaria

Well-known member
Now that my brain is working again: I know that´s why it happens. My strategy for keeping my brain halfway functional is exercise. Mostly walking. But then sometimes I´m too tired to walk, or I hurt myself, or I just... fall out of it. I haven´t walked anywhere near enough the past months. Plus of course covid took away some of the variation in my exercise regime. Mindless cardio is the best thing for my brain and the easiest way to do it is to go to the gym. No wondering about the weather, red lights, missing a turn, thinking of the next move, or checking my form. But right now even though the gyms are open it feels unsafe to go there so I don´t. I was literally craving the elliptical last Sunday but I didn´t get up and go because I was already kind of tired from hiking. So I definitely need more strategie. But for now let me get back to what I know works already: walk two hours a day and/or do cardio. Every day. 300 kcal of cardio according to the elliptical/rower/treadmill/bike counts for an hour of walking. I´m at 70 minutes today just from walking to work and back. I have an appointment for a haircut at 9:15 tomorrow morning and I will go to the gym before. Today I´ll just add another hour of walking.

Anyway: I felt like crap tomorrow and didn´t prep breakfast for today, thinking I´d just pack some salami and crackers. But of course in the morning I wanted to do better and was annoyed that I hadn´t prepped so I quickly threw some of the prepped pie filling into two tortillas, topped with cherry tomatoes, lettuce, and sriracha, and packed it up together with 4 plums and a chocolate protein pudding. Don´t know the calories but it kept me full enough and on the way home I picked up sushi for lunch as well as chicken&rice for some time later this week. Had two Twix bars for dessert but didn´t eat the other two that were still in the bag so that´s something. Further planning:
- Prep green pea mash for tomorrow´s wraps.
- Put filling into casserole dish and top with puff pastry so literally the only thing I´ll have to do for breakfast is stick the bloody thing into the oven.
- Pick up some kind of nice dinner. I know: that´s two take-aways in one day. Who cares. Another thing that helps to keep me sane is doing/experiencing new things. So I´m going to try and find something to eat from a place I haven´t tried yet. I live in a city and might as well make use of the options. I want something veggie-heavy and delicious that doesn´t feel too heavy.

Food tomorrow:
- Veggie pot pie
- Stuffed half-baguette
- Mango protein pudding
- Pea/feta wraps
 

liza

Well-known member
Interesting contemplations on mood, eating, psychology etc. It is always an interesting endeavour to see what is motivating us both for good and bad. I'm with you on the therapy of walking. That natural rhythm of feet moving, one in front of the other seems to do so much for body and mind. Good you could sort out what seems to be holding you back from getting enough in and how to approach it differently!
 

LaMaria

Well-known member
Fingers crossed it´ll work... Either way I got my 2 hours of walking in today and I tried a new restaurant for dinner. Taste and price were good, macros not great. Got my two hours in yesterday as well, by the way, but only because the 3k walk I did in the morning took me a whole hour - where it normally takes 30 minutes.

Haven´t done my food prep yet but will fix that now while the bath tub fills up.
 

Emilyrose

Well-known member
I'm glad you treated yourself to a new restaurant, LaMa. Maybe macros not great but at least it was a full meal, which should keep you going until bedtime. Well done. :)
 

LaMaria

Well-known member
Thank you, Em :grouphug:

Spent too long on Reddit this morning BUT then got up and went for a run anyway. Shoved that pie into the oven and it turned out great. Just the filling in a wrap was ok but straight from the oven, topped with puff pastry it was lovely.

Hair turned out better than I thought as well. Still had Toffifee after but hey. I feel better.
 

LaMaria

Well-known member
Stomach was very mad at me this afternoon/tonight. Not sure why but it´s starting to go down (had a small glass of gin half an hour ago). It started after I had that protein pudding and stuff made with protein powder is sometimes hard on my gut so maybe that´s all. I felt good with my new haircut and since the hair lady said that I now need to wear dresses I decided to do just that today. Definitely less scary when I have a... militant... haircut to even things out. The terrified rictus is just my face whenever a camera is near.
 

liza

Well-known member
You look great LaMa!
Very funny about the hairdresser saying you need to wear dresses now, but good excuse to dress up I guess!
Nice to hear you feeling positive and energetic :)
 

LaMaria

Well-known member
Thanks Liza and Cate! This morning I felt like I´d been hit by a bus and couldn´t figure out why until I remembered I went for a run yesterday for the first time since... March? Knowing why made it easier. Still came home and ate all the chocolate and chips. Proper binge. I´m feeling better but somehow it´s not enough. Oh well: all I can do is keep trying. Walk. Drink water. Sleep. Eat things I enjoy. Get up off the couch even when gravity doesn´t want me to. Do things that make me feel useful. Keep getting on that scale even if it´s showing unpleasant numbers.
 

liza

Well-known member
Oh well: all I can do is keep trying. Walk. Drink water. Sleep. Eat things I enjoy. Get up off the couch even when gravity doesn´t want me to. Do things that make me feel useful. Keep getting on that scale even if it´s showing unpleasant numbers.
I totally agree. I think you do a great job of continually coming back to the healthy choices even if you slip here and there and that's what's important!
 

LaMaria

Well-known member
Thanks Liza :grouphug: I wish it wasn´t necessary so often though... At the same time: I did mostly well for 3+ years. That´s pretty good! No: that´s great! Struggling during a bloody pandemic is allowed and I´m not going to put myself down for it. Or at least I´ll try 🙈 And while I´m being all dramatic let´s have my current mantra on:
 

Marsia

Well-known member
I agree so completely and totally - we all are struggling from the pandemic and all the changes that brought. We need to go easy on ourselves while still figuring out what works for each of us. I think once we're back on track after all of this, we'll be much stronger and not as easily distracted from staying healthy. And also you look wonderful!
 

LaMaria

Well-known member
Thanks Cate and Marsia :grouphug:
Got my flu shot today. Doc said it'd be better to get it mid-November next year because apparently it wears off relatively quickly (3 months or so) and the flu wave doesn't generally arrive all that early. The more you know.
 

liza

Well-known member
Good to know about the flu shot.
The pandemic continues to really affect me. Sometimes I think everyone else is doing so much better than me with it so good to hear I'm not alone. My life drastically changed and it has never gotten back to even close to what it was before. I miss my community and feel sadly cut off from so much of what built me up before. I am always trying to look on the bright side and finding other ways of building myself up, but it isn't always easy.
 

LaMaria

Well-known member
I miss my community and feel sadly cut off from so much of what built me up before. I am always trying to look on the bright side and finding other ways of building myself up, but it isn't always easy.
So true. I talk about it with patients almost daily. So many of them developed back/neck/shoulder problems just because they lost their normal, "natural" activities. And it influences both body and mind. And then the mind influences the body again so its a double whammy.
Hope you have something fun planned for the weekend, hon xo
Nothing specific but the weather should be glorious (sunny, low 20s) so I think I'll finally try a long hike I've had my mind set on for a while now. And today I want to go into town to buy a desk calendar and a bunch of stickers to award myself for... not for good days because I'd always be too critical to award myself one, but for steps in the right direction. Walking my 2 hours. Drinking 3 liters of water or herbal tea (other drinks are allowed but don't count toward the total). Cooking a batch of fresh food. Eating three real meals rather than replacing one with chocolate/icecream/chips. Planning something social with a friend. Trying a new restaurant. Doing anything I was putting off. Chores that take more than 20 minutes. Leaving the city during weekeds. Hell, even airing my apartment more regularly and more thoroughly, given how strongly I react to house mites on my blood test. My apartment more than fulfills the mite avoidance rules but that's no good if you don't air, clean, and dust like a maniac. Definite room for improvement on all three fronts 🙈 So... maybe I make a long list of healthy things to do and I get a sticker on days I do at least three of them?
 
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