LaMa

LaMaria

Well-known member
Lots happened today. Work... happened and was super stressful. Sllergy test happene. Plan didn't. But that's no reason to stop planning so... let's repeat today's plan for tomorrow, except for breakfast which did work out today.
 

Cate

Support crew
Do the best you can, hon. That's all any of us can do. Sometimes just getting through a day is a win :grouphug:
 

Marsia

Well-known member
Sorry your work is stressing you out. I hope you can get a lovely night's sleep and you'll feel back to normal in the morning. I agree with Cate about not stressing over the past and just setting yourself up for a successful new day. I've gained so much back, but I'm also learning to cope with stress better than I used to, so I really agree with Cate about doing the best we can and moving on . Hugs!
 

LaMaria

Well-known member
Thanks Cate and Marsia. Work was better today. Food wasn't. Interesting (and damning) thing: I ALWAYS cut my nails once a week but this week I could've skipped it because they grew less than half the amount they normally do. No prizes for guessing why...
On the positive side: I made time for a quick shoulder/back workout three times this week.
Plan for tomorrow:
- pulled pork pitas
- corn cakes/cheese/pickles/lettuce
- stuffed flatbread with extra veggies
 

Marsia

Well-known member
Glad things are better at work, too. Are you planning nice things for your weekend? I hope you get to do something relaxing and healthy that gets your mind off of food.
 

LaMaria

Well-known member
Thanks Cate and Marsia. Today was... lazy. I did do family exercise and processed a load of laundry but that´s it. Oh, and I prepped some veggies as well. See, not a complete waste of space. Breakfast and lunch were as planned but for dinner I just heated up a couple of fish fingers and had those with a handful of cherry tomatoes. Which, to be fair to myself, is better than the bag of chips with garlic dip I kind of wanted to have. I´ve been noticing a clear pattern of bad stomach problems after eating larger amounts of chips lately so I´m trying to avoid them again. I did still have a pint of icecream for dessert but that would´ve happened either way.
Tomorrow:
- The last of the pitas with the last of the pulled pork (and some veggies)
- Whatever the winemakers have to sell that looks good
- Depending on what time I get back: either a vegan pot pie (for which I prepped the veggies for the filling today) or McD´s
 

LaMaria

Well-known member
Thanks! I´m sure it´ll be fun again but this time I´ll be sure to wear sunscreen :) I was tempted to just buy a half-baguette at the railway station for breakfast but was sensible and made my ppp instead. More veggies, more spice, more better. Besides: I´m looking forward to making that veggie pot pie and I want to use the same dish I had the pork in. Decided I´ll do half brown lentils and half tvp for protein and use puff pastry for the lid because it´s only for me and I happen to love puff pastry.
 

LaMaria

Well-known member
Had a lovely day. Ate too much and did not make that pot pie yet but I avoided sunburn despite being outside for 6 hours or so on a super sunny day. Had to cover the back of my neck by the second hour despite SPF 50 but everything else worked really well. And I had brought a light sweater for that express purpose so really that worked, too.
 

liza

Well-known member
Glad to hear you had such a great outing after some stressful times at work. Good to be able to recharge properly after stressful times like that!
 

Marsia

Well-known member
Glad you had such a nice day and protected your skin well, too. The pot pie sounds delicious! Eat a piece for me when you have time to make it!!
 

LaMaria

Well-known member
Thanks all :grouphug: I didn´t feel like doing anything at all this morning so I just had corn cakes with some salami and veggies for breakfast. Did get off the couch to process the rest of the veggies I bought on Saturday. Now I have plenty of good stuff in the fridge but still no motivation at all to eat it. I don´t know what´s going on right now. I´m not particularly tired or sad. I can make myself do things and I´m ok while doing them but it all feels like work and the joy/satisfaction feels like it´s coming through a think layer of cotton wool. Maybe the same thing is true for the negative feelings, even. It´s like I´m not really here. And let´s face it: that´s not a new feeling. It´s come and gone for as long as I can remember. Maybe eating hyper-palatable, overly processed food is such a strong stimulus it makes me feel real? Going for a walk right now and see if that helps clear out the cobwebs and make me feel like I exist.
 

LaMaria

Well-known member
Well, the walk helped at least a little. Not enough to eat a decent lunch and pack dinner but enough to no longer feel like a zombie. I ate a large box of Toffifee but I also had some cheese and crackers plus a boiled egg because I am aware that my body needs protein or I'll feel worse. I'll try to motivate myself to walk at least two hours a day until I feel human again.
 

LaMaria

Well-known member
Also: surprise plan change again... God I hate doing groups when all I'm allowed to do is read off standard exercises...
 

Marsia

Well-known member
Do you think that feeling could be mild anhedonia https://www.webmd.com/depression/what-is-anhedonia ? I get that if I avoid feeling my feelings too often and then it catches up with me and I don't feel much of anything, because when you cut off unpleasant feelings, it's indiscriminate, and you also lose touch with the happy emotions, too. Not that this is what is happening to you necessarily, I am just guessing it might be. Anyway, I am right there with you. I am so frustrated I am using food to try to handle emotions (in my case anxiety) instead of just sitting down and feeling my feelings and nurturing myself in a healthier way. I really need to figure this out, too. So you at least have company in the whole food/nurturance conundrum.

Glad you are getting out on walks, and sorry about your work schedule surprising you again. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:!
 

Emilyrose

Well-known member
I am right there with you Marsia in trying to figure out how I can process my feelings without overeating because of the difficult ones. It’s draining. It feels like a record stuck on repeat.

Hope the walking helps LaMa.
 

LaMaria

Well-known member
Do you think that feeling could be mild anhedonia https://www.webmd.com/depression/what-is-anhedonia ?
I didn´t know the word but absolutely. And I want to say you´re wrong about it being caused by trying not to feel bad feelings but you´re not. I hate that I keep making the same mistakes over and over again.
It’s draining. It feels like a record stuck on repeat.
Exactly. We´re not stupid people so why does it keep playing out the same way? September isn´t over yet and I was going to be kind to myself in September so I´m going to say that being human is just messy and complicated. Spock would agree.
 
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