Llama

Friend time tomorrow and I'll try to push myself on Sunday and go for a walk in the morning before the rain starts. We sorely need water and the pollen count is sky high so I really hope it'll be the good stuff and not just a drizzle here and there. Somehow it always rains less than the forecast leads you to believe. Probably because fewer people complain about unexpected sun than about unexpected rain.
Edit: I just checked the forecast again and it looks like they changed it to just cloudy. No temperature drop and no rain, so probably no pollen relief either.
 
Scale's up this morning. Not surprised because I ate a lot yesterday. Not volume-wise, I just ate calorie-dense food for lunch and dinner (crackers and cheese/salami with pickles). High-sodium as well and my period is just starting on top of that. Wasn't even going to weigh myself but really that doesn't make sense because it doesn't change reality and it is kind of interesting to see the fluctuations. So today I'm up 1.5 kg from my recent low weight. What matters is what I weigh a week from now.
 
Thanks Floater and Vic.
Another calorie-heavy day and while I'm very happy I stopped short of a binge the result is still that I feel kind of awful. I'm bloated and I can literally feel my stomach pulsating. Not sure if just increased bloodflow due to overfilling or inflammation but either way it's quite unpleasant. So... what we do? Get back to doing what I know is right, of course. Breakfast tomorrow is the veggie and bean soup I made today(topped with feta), lunch will still be some kind of on the go thing, and dinner... I could make lentil stew for dinner but it would look a lot like that soup (both get pureed and are kind of orange) so it might make me feel like I'm eating the same thing all the time even though the flavors are very different. Do I have the ingredients for something else? I guess I could soak chickpeas and make falafel but I'm not feeling any excitement for that one. Maybe my brain is too foggy for enthusiasm right now. I'll try again tomorrow. Whatever I end up deciding I NEED to eat a nice bowl of fruit or I might struggle with binge urges. I feel so dehydrated when I don't get my fruit and veg in!
 
Llama said:
Whatever I end up deciding I NEED to eat a nice bowl of fruit or I might struggle with binge urges. I feel so dehydrated when I don't get my fruit and veg in!
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I feel so wrong when I don't. Hope you're enjoying your weekend, Llama xo
 
I think the insidious whisperings of the diet industry got into my ears and I started to wonder if I was eating too much fruit. The answer is no. No, I wasn't eating too much fruit and if I eat too little it just means I eat more chocolate, which is way more calorie dense.

Sitting at the railway station waiting for my train. Forgot my ah (again!) this morning so fingers crossed it won't get too warm. Had a bad night with my stomach and with the start of daylight saving time that means it was 7:30 by the time I woke up :eek: My knees are wobbly from the stomach issues and my period is being a bother so I'm going with a nice, flat, easy hike in familiar surroundings with reasonably closely-spaced cafés.
 
I had the most wonderful walk this morning. So much life coming back into the woods - and into my soul. After a good hour of level walking I decided I could risk a bit of a climb so I veered away from the neat, bikeable path with the many humans and headed up to my favorite castle ruins. The weather was just perfect, very few people around on the smaller trails, and I think I did a good job figuring out some new-to-me herbs.
 
That walk sounds so lovely! Good for you getting out when you had a bit of an off night. Amazing how much better we can feel when we just get going. Was nice to plan it so you could go easy on yourself but then realized you could handle more and went for it. I love identifying new plants--so fun!
 
It really was, thanks Liza and Floater.
I just looked up the time table for guided walks in the botanical gardens. That would be a nice way to help expand my knowledge as well as motivation to get out on days I wouldn't normally go far from home.
 
That walk sounds delightful, Llama. Guided walks in the botanical gardens sound promising. Is this the one attached to the University?
 
Yes it is! Physically it's part of a palace garden (Belvedere, not Schönbrunn this time) but intellectually it's attached to the local university.

I don't feel like getting up today (stupid clock change) but I really should if I want to have breakfast before leaving to get my ears checked. Getting ALL the check-ups in. Well, really my lungs and eyes are on the list as well because apparently asthma is no longer considered something you grow out of and my lung function has always been a bit limited even during my most active time and my three eye surgeries may put me at slightly higher risk of stuff as well, buuut... we'll see about those two later. I always feel like a bit of a reject when I realize how many of the systems in my body have/had issues. Even though I know that's nonsense it's just not something I like to be reminded of I guess.
 
Ugh, I binged after getting home from the doctor's. Period, hormones, sudden cold snap, time change, blablabla: I binged, and I don't want to be someone who binges so I looked up a weekly self help group I can join. Kind of terrifying but it's something I've never done before so it's worth a try. I only have this one life and I want to enjoy it to the best of my ability. Binging feels good for half an hour tops and then I a) feel sick for hours and b) gain weight, which makes it harder to move, harder to buy clothes, harder to look at myself, and harder to step out into the world with confidence. I don't want any of that: I want to be fit, healthy, and confident.
 
Is the self-help group an in-person thing or online, Llama? Either way, good for you. Just going even once would be good.
 
Thanks Cate (and Blue). It's online so at least there's not the hurdle of having to go out somewhere unfamiliar.

Still blocked up (honestly?!) and as a result I left the house late this morning. Which is how I know I'm actually fitter now than I was before the pandemic, even though I'm currently around 8 kg heavier. 3 years ago I'd need 37 minutes and a good bit of luck to have all the traffic lights go my way to walk to work. This morning I needed 33 minutes, including dropping into the bakery for a half-baguette and one red light so let's say 31 minutes, at the same level of effort.
 
Now that I have to time to count it up: even if I say 32 minutes that's still 7 km/h. Uphill. Very happy with that!
 
So great about getting fitter and faster! Weight is only one small measure of how we are doing. Very good to take all factors into consideration when thinking bout how we are doing.
Sorry to hear about the binge. And great idea about the support group. You've been doing really well and a slip here and there isn't terrible but I always think more supports to help us to where we want to be is always a good choice!
 
Thanks Liza. Was very tempted to binge again today. Brain tried the "if you start this group thing you'll never be allowed to binge again so you should do it while you still can" angle. But I don't want to ever binge again. Because I don't ever want to feel sick due to my own stupidity again. I'm sure it'll come round if I stick to my guns for a couple of days but for now it's whining and pouting and distracting me whatever I do.
 
Getting fitter & faster is excellent, Llama. So is not binging. Will you try the online support group, do you think?
 
I will. Not looking forward to it but it's good to try new things and sitting on my couch listening to people talk isn't THAT much of a hardship.
 
Llama said:
I will. Not looking forward to it but it's good to try new things and sitting on my couch listening to people talk isn't THAT much of a hardship.
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Good for you!
 
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